this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 174 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I would leave a comment but I'll be busy (with a girl, you wouldn't understand)

[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I would upvote your comment, but I'll be with a real girl (I don't expect you to understand it)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I would read your comment, but I'll be playing Factorio (I don't expect you to understand it)

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[–] [email protected] 159 points 5 months ago (1 children)

lmao this is too good, I would laugh but I'll be too busy (because I'll be meeting a girl, not that you are really going to understand)

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago

A REAL ONE!

[–] [email protected] 122 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 148 points 5 months ago

(you wouldn't)

[–] [email protected] 110 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 87 points 5 months ago (1 children)

48 hours later

"Hey fellas."

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 75 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 71 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I know this is an unpopular take...but I'm cheering the guy on. He obviously needs to get laid. Like, really bad.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think he needs to fall on his face first, to lose the entitlement and degrading behaviour towards his (up until this point) friends.

Then when he learns he can have another attempt.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

for the girl's sake I hope he doesn't

(assuming it is not satire, but it probably is)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

For all of our sakes, I, too, hope he doesn't.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Must be so nice to know girls in real life.

By the way, I use Arch.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 5 months ago (3 children)

What's that? Another copypasta hot off the press? Don't mind if I do tyvm!

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. l'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where l am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again l don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, l have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 5 months ago

Sounds like he doesn't understand.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If she’s in to condescending pricks, it’ll be a perfect match!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Assuming she exists in the first place

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (2 children)

She totally does, she just goes to another Discord. I wouldn't expect you (an obvious virgin) to understand what it's like to have Real Human Girls be interested in you, but she's real (a real girl and also definitely human) and she wants him. She's just offline right now or she'd prove it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah she’s on Discord Canada

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago

And then.. the next day he will be back on discord for hours on end for days on end.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (4 children)

guys... call me crazy but... I think he will be meeting a girl

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago

I don't understand.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago

I don't think he does, too busy meeting up with a real girl

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (6 children)

This whole thread was awesome. Thanks, feddies! Sincerely, a real female (way too old to call myself a girl, but in threads like this, I feel like one!)

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Napoleon Dynamite reporting from the Internets...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

More like kip, but yeah

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

What in the fuck

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ugh if my

gay-ass

gay ass

had had

Discord in 7th grade, this is exactly the kind of bullshit propaganda I would have used to cover for myself

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Honestly this was so weird to read because of the line breaks, but it would have been way harder without them. Thanks for looking out!

I hope your gay-ass gay ass had had a great day.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hello guys today I just had very hot sex(not gay)(with a woman) and it was pretty fun I fucked her pussy(because she is a woman) and she said she enjoyed it a lot(with a female voice because she is a female). Anyways losing your virginity(to a woman) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a woman).

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Took her forever to get here from Canada.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is this a mother's day post?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

We all know his Mum.

Ahem. 😅

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

I had a short phase like that in my early teens. I hate you for making me remember that.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

(not that it would help)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your posts are the ones most likely to warm my heart, make me smile or even literally lol. This one did all three. Thank you, my friend. <3

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Ha, thanks! I'm just trying to do my part to add content to the fediverse.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

I've met several. Would not recommend. Cooties, I believe you Yanks call them.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's sweet she came in from Canada to visit him.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

local_users lusers

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