Asklemmy

Deciding to transition ten years ago

Marrying my wife. She is so smart and strong. We make a great team and we have been able to resolve the various conflicts of 15 years. I couldn't have chosen a better partner.

Getting a divorce. My life has been better since then, even when I lived in my car.

Joining the electrical union. I'm a convicted felon. The union gave me a future.

I'd say so far, my best decision has been saying "ok" when an old coworker offered me an interview at a new job.

OP, do you mind if I ask what your native language is?

I hate that you are right because English is such a janky ass language.

And don't worry too much on mistakes since native speakers suck at english too.

Quit smoking.

Apart from that, it's been a clusterfuck.

Asked my boss to relocate me to another country 5 years ago. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m glad I even asked in the first place, because no one else had done it at the time.

Quiting an exhausting job. That was a big relieve for me and for my partner even more so

Moving to California. Happened on a whim. Change my life completely because I didn't fit in my conservative state and would never have achieved actual happiness. Also, continuing therapy.

Getting away from my ex.

I had resigned myself to my life being over. But when we started pushing for kids, I started noticing relief whenever it didn’t work. I realized that while I might have been willing to sacrifice myself to her, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice kids.

So I did the unthinkable, and I called it all off. It was horribly sad, but now after five years out, I’m feeling like myself again. I shudder to think of that zombified state I was living in.

Someone convinced me to study computer science 20 years ago. The career possibilities with good money and easy work have put the rest of life on easy mode (for now). Even meeting my wife and having my family would never have happend without that decision.

Stooped caring what other thought, started doing what I liked, took risks.

Going vegan

Asking out my partner. They're my favorite person. I pity the alternate timeline version of me who didn't have the guts to make a move. They're really missing out.

Leaving Facebook, and Reddit, and ~~Twitter~~ X, and Instagram, and... well, quite literally everything except YouTube.

Probably having kids. Got pregnant at 23, went back to school, slowly, got a much better job when I finished. Do not think I would have done without having the kids, and they have brought so much joy into my life.

But I always knew I wanted kids so not sure that counts.

Wearing a very slightly alternative outfit to the mall in the 1980s may actually have saved my life. I was so alienated at school, for a lot of reasons, and falling in with these slightly older punks who looked after me at shows and just generally got me into that scene really made me feel I had a place - I wouldn't say it was wholesome by any stretch but without that group I am pretty sure I would have just died, probably from anorexia as a teen. Good and bad came from it but I am very, very happy for that day.

Was taking 2 gap years in education. Where I worked a year, and took firefighters education for 9 month, where I met my now wife, after that traveled for 2 month, before I continued my education with computer science.

Going to college.

Honestly there's a lot of things I know all contributed to where I am. But I'm fairly certain I would have a far worse life if I hadn't gone to college.

Marrying my wife.

I ended up being a much better person because of it.

~Anti~ ~Commercial-AI~ ~license~ ~(CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0)~

Moving to Ireland. Better than the UK in almost every way.

It's kind of weird that English became a universal language. There must have been better choices.

Going to therapy.
I found out the reason I could't sleep anymore was deeper than just being stressed out during a particular time frame of my life, but it was the last ring of a chain of bad (but apparently "normal") decisions that started a long time ago.

Making new year resolutions and actually following through with them until i have succeeded. Each new year, if i completed my previous year goal, i will spend some time thinking about what i could do to best improve my life. i also very carefully word the resolution, so i am not able to 'cheat' in any way.

I started off by doing something i saw as a joke. the resolution was to watch every episode and movie of star trek, star wars and dr who. After accomplishing this goal (after 3 years) i realized that making the goal specific is more important. a vague goal that says "do better" in some way is bad. it is better, for me, to aim for a reasonable and achievable goal.

For example, "losing weight" is a bad. if i never stopped losing weight, it would be worse than if i never stopped gaining weight. if i make the goal "get to, then stay within 180-200 pounds", it is a good goal. (for my height, this is a healthy range).

i started doing this in 2006. since starting i have quit drinking alcohol, quit illegal drugs and reconnected with family members i lost contact with, during the time i was doing the other two.

the most recent goal i made, in 2020, is actually the opposite of my first goal: quit watching tv and movies, quit playing videogames and educate myself as much as possible, until i get a college degree (this is difficult. i have developmental disorders) or buy a house. since they are harder goals than before, i gave myself a deadline of before 2030 begins.

I started running some 20-odd years ago. It helped me get stability and self-confidence and helped me get my shit together.

Moving. I was in my mid 20s and I lived in a city with all my friends.

Really struggled with mental health. Felt like all my friends hated me. Turns out they were just mediocre friends.

Packed up and moved, solo.doing way better than I ever woulda done in that situation, I think.

Quit work at 35, am now 58.

Regrets ? Not brave enough to quit earlier.

Overcoming my tendency to push people away and committing to my wife.

At the risk of repeating what others have posted, getting together with my wife. She's smart, financially responsible, and we influence each other in positive ways. We've been so much more capable as a team than either of us was separately.