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Abusive ex didn’t let you fucking sit? That’s a lot to unravel and the likely source of your trouble. Like if you have anxiety or trouble relaxing physically or mentally you should talk to a therapist about it and do some research. I also recommend doing light and soft exercise like yoga and stretching to help with you blood flow and legs. Improving that seems tricky but very doable with some time, focus, and kindness.
I mean, as with all manipulators it's never that simple. He would basically throw a fit 24/7 and we never got to do anything I wanted, he would ditch me on our trip with zero way of getting anywhere, and uncomfortable shoes, and no access to the Airbnb.. I needed to lie down, put my legs up, take a break, change my shoes .. eat something
He ditched me so many times on that trip he couldn't care less if I died
That’s no good.