Ask Lemmy

26275 readers

1564 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

129

At what age do you think is too old to be living with parents? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

103 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Background+rant: I'm in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I'm not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to "grow up and leave the nest".

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I'm independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I'm living at home, like I'm admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I'm planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can't help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I'm interested in seeing what others have to say.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Your family must not be my family. I could be in the exact same situation, but I'm choosing to barely make rent each month on a 1br.

It is very expensive, but if I lived at home, I could not have sex, and having a partner over for non-sex reasons would be...very weird.

Plus, my family doesn't allow me to cook anything in oil because of the smells. Boiling, baking, and grilling only.

So...yeah. I like having a partner. And having some nookie. Plus, the space is nice.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Even aside from sex, dating in general is so awkward as an adult when living at home. Like, say your date suggests you watch a TV show You would have to take them home and probably meet your parents etc.. definitely worth moving out for me after a certain point.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I turned 18 when I was still in high school. I couch surfed with my friends pretty much the next week until I graduated then officially moved into my own place the second I went full time. Part of it was the same reasons you mentioned. I was an adult and wanted to do things my way. Part of it was that I felt stifled at home from the time I was 13.

I don't really understand people who stay at their parents house after they're able to leave, but if it works for them and OP doesn't mind the drawbacks then I say more power to them.

Of course it took me years to be able to share a place with a partner at all so I may be broken.