Libb

it's not that uncommon, What you call role reversing is quite normal for many persons and is no reversal at all.

Just don't fall for the trap of thinking people need to be this or that, depending their gender. More often than not, people are a mix. Which make them so much more interesting to meet and learn to know. Imho ;)

My spouse (we're both 50+ and have been together for 25 years) is assertive and not the romantic kind (if you want to get slapped in the face try offering her flowers) but I am romantic (like, really) and ,yep, I do like flowers (I'm the one buying flowers to decorate our place). It happens I'm also as assertive as she is and we both have or had jobs with lots of responsibilities — 'had', because in my case I retired a few years ago from that job and decided to live a much simpler life, whereas my wife still works for a large corporation and still works with a small army of people).

Then, next to that, there is also the more or less extreme version of... let's call it 'gender role reversal' for lack of a better word whereas one should in reality understand a 'gender cliché reversal'. Where the supposed 'male figure' will be a dominant woman and the 'feminine one' will be a weak/gentle/soft male. More often than not, it will err on the side of fetishism eroticism and, that should not be a surprise, there is also a lot of erotica/sex business around that kind of role 'reversal' for the obvious reason that it sells. Which means that enough people are into it to make it a profitable business... much more people (male and female) than will dare to admit it ;)

So, what do you think? Have you seen relationships like this in the wild? Have you known about these dynamics, or are they unfamiliar to you? I’d like to know your thoughts!

If I could give you an advice iy would be to go meet different kind of people. Imho, it would help you realize men are not just 'male' and harsh and women are not just 'soft' and romantic.

Those fantasies not only showed me how wonderful a relationship would feel, but also that I myself would want to be very affectionate and adaptive to my partner’s needs, not just my own.

Isn't it what a (working) relationship is supposed to be for both parties in a couple? Be affectionate and attentive to the other's needs not just one's own?

Don't be afraid of your 'fantasy'. Imho, don't be afraid to not call it a fantasy. The moment you try to meet people for who they are and not who you want them to be you will be surprised how... rich (and understanding) some of them can be. Not all of them.

As much as I can, I will use analog tools instead of digital.

• I keep a paper agenda.
• My to-do is paper too.
• I draft all my papers longhand.
• I sketch using pen and paper.
• I do all me y research using an analog Zettelkasten (a fancy word to designate a large pile of index cards stored in boxes). I've tried using the digital modernized version of that Zettelkasten (a concept that was formalized between the 1960-90s) using an app like Obsidian but it absolutely did not work for me. Paper suits me best.

No notifications, no update/upgrade, no recharging, no bugs and no temptation to go check something online every few seconds. 100% focus.

I'm not saying that analog is better than digital, just that it works best for me and since the better I work the faster I do the work and the less I have to work. The happier I am ;)

Thx for the clarification.

For the last two days lots of Mozart, and also Pink Floyd.

I actually have a sit stand desk. And do use it some. But I have some issues with my hips and SI joints. Standing without walking gets painful pretty fast.

It can sure get painful quickly. A few things worth considering:

• Do you use one of those dedicated mat to stand on? I don't know the English name for those, but they do sell padded mats made to stand up on them. They help increase the duration of my standing position. Even more so if you also regularly switch your weight form one leg to the other, or just move on that mat. Get a good mat as it will help more.
• Don't force yourself to make long standing sessions, make them shorter but more frequent? Standing should not hurt.
  For me (50+ dude that was in really poor shape and health when I started), what matters is to regularly get my ass out of that chair for 10 or 15 minutes, sometimes more but as long as I have my 10 minutes I'm happy. Be it to stand at the desk or to do stuff around the office/home. It's the regularity, making it into a habit, that I find the most helpful. At the beginning I used a timer to remind myself to stand up and, yep, it was a pain to get constantly interrupted by that stupid alarm but since it seemed to help my back (edit: and knee and feet) a little I kept on using it up until the day I realized I needed it no more. I don't think about it, I just regularly move my ass out of that chair — ad I use one of those mats I mentioned.

I don't know about your specific situation so this may not apply at all, but getting back into walking also helped me immensely (as does help wearing good shoes: the day I switched to better walking shoes my endurance skyrocketed). That and healthier eating habits were key in me getting back into some kind of shape and health despite starting real low: I barely could walk at all.

Not exaggerating, I celebrated like if I was Armstrong stepping on the Moon, the first time I managed to walk down and back our street without being exhausted and without my joints, back and feet hurting so much for the next few days that I had to lay down (it was that bad). Nowadays, I walk up to 10 km daily, never less than 6. Sure, I'm no athlete and my health issues won't go away ever but what matters is that most of my chronicle pains have vanished almost entirely, even the most enduring ones that plagued me for... decades. And I can move around and use my body almost normally. I also lost a hefty chunk of fat, which is a neat bonus ;)

Sorry for that too long reply to your comment. It's just something I consider so worth talking about ;)

Not the few communities I follow. Also I only read my Subscribed timeline.

I would love for a way to only see pictures if I click them, though.

Why don't desk chairs have seat belts?

Because unlike in cars there isn't much chair accidents? ;)

More seriously, no seat belt can help you sit correctly in a chair. What can help you, easily and cheaply, is sitting less. Regularly make breaks and get up, move do stuff that you can do standing up. This one is not cheap but using one of those sit/stand desks can help in that regard — I consider mine the second best health spending I ever made, the first one being: good walking shoes (another great habit for one's health is to walk as much and as regularly as one can).

No subscriptions? Sounds to me like you’re deep into a subscription to big paper, old man.

Well, I sure do purchase paper (and ink) but, unlike with stuff I would subscribe to, even if I would stop buying any more paper today I would keep a full and unlimited access to the one I already purchased, for as long as I fancy, at no extra-cost (1). Try that with a subscription, my young fellow ;)

1: the same with purchased films, series, music, licenses, books, and so on... Stuff I see no valid reason to keep subscribing to (I used to subscribe to many services), and enough good reasons to not keep subscribing to them.

I strongly recommend to switch to Darktable. You need 2-3 youtube tutorials for your start, because at first it is not intuitive at all. But then it is so much faster, easier and your results will be better.

Thx for the suggestion.

I tried it, already (as well as its fork, Ansel). It's too complex and definitely not intuitive, like you mentioned, and it's also too powerful for my humble needs. Really I'm more than happy with something as simple as Apple Photos and would use its Libre equivalent if I could find it ;)

So they named it Mozilla.

I had no idea about that.

I do remember how much I liked their various logos, be it those of Netscape and how madly I loved the old Mozilla t-rex logo — I still wear their old t-shirt from time to time, just because of that stupid but gorgeous head ;)

Yep, as well as for writing I must say. I'm no stranger to high-tech but I have yet to find a digital writing tool tool that makes me consider retiring my fountain pens.

It may be surprising and it may not be a viable solution for many here but, as much as I can, I try to use... analog tools.

Analog tools have zero tracking, zero spying, zero code. They're also reliable, sturdy, long lasting, don't need daily charging, update, upgrade or subscription fees. They work great. There is no one to tell me what I'm allowed to do and to not do with my analog tool or how I must do it.

• Fitness tracking: pen and paper. Next to date of the day I write down in a pocket notebook all the exercises I do, the time I walk (and the approx distance). It's limited and there is no fancy graphs, sure, but I don't need more — and it works: I do exercises and walk daily, more than when I was still wasting too much of my time looking for the perfect device and apps ;)
• Agenda: paper agenda. I don't need sync and certainly not reminders or Notifications. I open my agenda every single day and look at the page to know what's up, so paper is more than adequate.
• To-do: lists in my notebook.
• reading: I quit reading ebooks because of privacy and long-term ownership concerns and now mostly read printed books. If you're curious to know more about my motivations to switch back to print, I wrote a couple posts on my blog (check the link in my profile).
• I draft all my writings longhand, using a (fountain) pen and paper... or a good old typewriter. I have yet to find a better/simpler/distraction-free/and less bugged way to write my first drafts, no matter how fast I can type on a computer.
• I take all my notes by hand, personal, research notes using an analog Zettelkasten. Yep I tried (many) apps, nope I don't want to use them (no hate, just my preference). I'm much more efficient (and happy) using a stack of A6/4x6 sheets of paper even though there is no Search button ;)
• I sketch by hand, using a fountain pen plus a small cheap set of watercolor I can carry everywhere.
• As for computer, beside the Mac and iPhone I still use (for business purpose and because it takes time to change habits, I have been an Apple user since the 80s) my personal computer runs GNU/Linux Mint (and another runs Debian). I would not want to go back to a Mac, and certainly not to a spyware-riddled Windows PC.
• Web: Firefox. I have always used it and I was already using it when it was not yet called Firefox — I started browsing the Web using Mosaic.
• Mail client: Thunderbird.
• YouTube: mpv (+ yt-dlp), or Freetube (this one has a a nice gui if you don't like the cli)
• Word processing + Spreadsheet: LibreOffice (unlike MS Office, LO has no tracking and no AI crap... and no subscription)
• Illustration: Inkscape, over Illustrator/Affinity Designer
• Photo edit: Gimp, over Photoshop but, here, I can tell I dearly miss the simplicity/ease of use of Apple Photos app and I will often use it on the Mac. Disclaimer: I'm no pro photographer.
• Managing images: Digikam, over Lightroom. Digikam is such a good app (for managing files, less so for editing them but it's still nice to use) and it is so under-hyped, I've always wondered why.
• social media. I have an account here and on reddit, that is all. To be exact, I have accounts on many platforms, I just logged out of them a few years ago — tired of the constant hate and anxiety they promoted and of people seemingly loving to feed upon said hate and anxiety — and never logged back in since then. Don't miss any.
• Edit: Seach I (happily) pay for the Kagi search engine. It works great, without any tracking or ads and with some really cool features.