this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Multi-shot upgrade. Get slingshot. Shoot $100 bill with my slingshot. Fires double the amount of money. πŸ’° profit? πŸ“ˆπŸ’Έ

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

You could also put on one man bukkake shows

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Considering the serial and things would be the same, this is basically just a high-quality counterfeit, ya?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

i'd have to go find some and I've got this printer ink right here

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Cocaine. Or CPUs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Oh wow! That shit is more valuable than unicorn blood.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

That's a good one!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My vision's never been great, so I'll gamble on looking like Obama being more literal than sharing his physical appearance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's a great bet to make! I'd personally pick big onion. It intrigues me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Probably turns you into Shrek

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Backflips. Never been the least bit athletic aside from my lifting strength and endurance. Just to surprise the everliving hell out of my friends and then never do so again without ever offering an explanation.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (4 children)

What if losing the ability means breaking your neck on the last try?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

A few is more than two. You could safely do two flips and leave it at that, which would still be pretty cool.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Would only serve to further shock his friends!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Well obviously not gunna break my neck... But one solid backflip would be enough to gaslight my friends.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

As long as you tuck properly it's really hard to land in a damaging way*

Back flips are surprisingly possible with some exercise. I can do them on flat ground. If you have a gym nearby with those big blue mats you can try them with much risk.

*Terms and conditions apply when you're fat.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Finally a chance to snap a bad guy's neck and save the day.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Old Ones Awaken Awaken Awaken Awaken, take the life that must be taken!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Look, there was no way we could know it would summon a Lake Troll

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Green green green green I fucking love the great old ones I want my sanity to abandon me and to laugh and scream and learn new ways to hurt eachother

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

No you misunderstand, that pill just makes a loud noise go off in a retirement home.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Brown pill so that I can force any set to be compact and make math like 69% easier.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Backflip.

I imagine that means my body won’t hurt and I’ll have the athleticism to do a few backflips until I’ve done them. If I don’t do them, then my body is just suddenly healthy and pain free.

At 40, I’ll take that shit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No, that's literally the only exercise you can do. Your body is absolutely optimizer to do 3 backflips and nothing else.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

To be able to pick up a cup of coffee.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

What is multi-shot upgrade do?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It's pronounced "MUL-MUL-MUL-MULTISHOT!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Nobody picked the pink pill?

🩷Pizza time is already broken and I can do so much damage in a minute!🩷

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Ooooh, nice, I'm always game for more multishot. I've got too much base damage bonus, I need more multipliers on my build.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Obama as now, or at the same age as me?

30 YO Obama looked amazing.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Tell me more about this big onion. Do I get a big onion or become a big onion?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I don't know. I picked it but it hasn't yet arrived.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Do I get to pick the team for the baseball caps?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Cool! I like plain caps. Would they vary in color every time?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I know right

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Do I get to be as tall as Obama?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Compact please

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago
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