this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] [email protected] 150 points 1 year ago (1 children)

pls no more punchlines in the title!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They had been saying this over at that other site for like 13 years before I left.

I’m sure it’ll work out here though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

If I browsed these types of joke-sharing communities more often, I'd petition community mods to create a rule against it. I don't think that's too harsh.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Haha yeah my first reaction was wtf are we back to this now?

[–] [email protected] 118 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

We don't have pennies anymore in the first world.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm good at counting pennies

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"What, your fancy future store too good to accept my assorted animal pelts and sifted gold pebbles as currency?!"

[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

I keep 3 forms of payment on me for this reason. Phone, card, cash, in that order.

Edit: Within 30 minutes of making this comment, I was at a Walmart. No NFC payment. The machine didn't like my card. Now I have 2 quarters and a penny in my pocket.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The register's down sir, we can only accept payment in the form of interpretive dance convincingly communicating your burning desire for the chosen products.

Tips in the form of jazz hands are always appreciated, but never expected.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm buying a 24-pack of beer so I guess I'll communicate my burning desire with some Chumbawamba

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

They're never gonna keep YOU down!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The interpretive dance is much better afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Phone, card, gun, cash in that order

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many cheeseburgers can you get for 1 gun?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

As many as you’d like, depending on several constraints which include how long it takes for someone to stop you, how many you can carry, and how fast they are able to produce cheeseburgers.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also tuesdays are cheeseburger day in county jail.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

That’s my retirement plan sorted then

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

no... nfc.... payment??? wtf
is that an American thing or what?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a Walmart thing. They wanted to compete with Apple over contactless payments thing and Walmart invested in tech that uses QR codes. No one ever partnered with Walmart so they now use their QR payment tech in house.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Kroger too—no tap payments. Instead, you have to use their Kroger app's QR code. It sucks

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Apple watch owners making up stories to justify their purchase (this is a joke)

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

How to make people envious of your amazing Apple product: tell them it wouldn't work and caused an inconvenience for everyone.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

But if I don't hold up everyone they wouldn't even pay attention to my new watch!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Then everyone clapped?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

they just like me fr

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

This is the perfect level of grumpy old man.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Why are you suddenly in a rush, sir? Life has clearly already passed you by.

Hey, uh, just between you and me, what was Alexander Hamilton really like?"

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I was expecting a Back to the Future gif...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I heard the Elderly Man's words in the voice of Kris Kristofferson's Whistler character from the Blade movies.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Terrific call. I definitely heard something similar!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

OP's a 21st century digital boy,

He can't get through the line,

With his futuristic toys.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Dawdle on your own time, sport

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Honestly I wonder how well these PTP payments would work in my home state considering how now one used them and phones are infomas for not working on top of a lot of places being cash only so I can only imagine how few places can even except g pay

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Does it even use the mobile data for payment?

The establishment taking payment needs to communicate with their merchant provider (otherwise they'd never get their money), but I'm not sure that the phone does. It's similar to contactless cards, but uses a different floor limit so you don't need to enter a PIN, as it's assumed that if you've unlocked the phone then you're authorised to make payments.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't moble data the stuff your phone uses too communicate like the main reason why people don't use their phones outside in my home state is due to how there's a lot of dead zones where it can't communicate no calls, texts or Internet connection. When travailing the only thing your phone really can do is play angry birds and take pictures because the environment is basically forcing your phone to be on airplane mode

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, if you've got no internet then you can't do all the nice internet things.

Pretty sure you'd need internet (wifi would do) to set up Apple/Google Pay on your phone, but I don't think you need internet when out and about paying for things.

Apple seem to have no problem with it.

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/8204935

Looks like the Google one needs to phone home every so often, but should work for "a limited number of transactions". Whether that's by value or by transaction count I don't know. It certainly seems to be instant whenever I use it, which makes me think it doesn't rely on internet access.

https://support.google.com/wallet/thread/177978646/do-you-need-data-to-use-google-pay?hl=en

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You're correct. I've made payments with my phone and watch lots of times without any WiFi or data connection.

Only the payment terminal needs to be connected.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many different payment methods does the world need? Is this efficiency or just another skimming scam lol

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Skimming works because it attacks 1980s technology.

Contactless is much more secure, given an extra 40 years of defending scams.

Thinking of this as "just another attack vector" is laughably ignorant, really.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I tend to view the finance industry as a bunch of skimmers. Funnel money through as many companies as possible so everyone gets a fee.

I was not thinking of security at all.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

To be fair, I wasn't expecting to hear that you were coming into a conversation about contactless payments, using a word like "skimming" and meaning something completely out-of-context.

That's a real doozie, yo.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's a real doozie:

(GIF)

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