this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I've met this bird. It only prioritizes issues as urgent; when interacted with, it'll say "yes, this is part of MVP"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

I'll kill you , you stupid bird!

If everything is high priority, nothing is high priority!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

I had a list of 30 items I had to prioritize with clients the other day. We ended up with about two dozen Priority 1s and the rest were 2s.

So I had to go back and say, "let's prioritize the 1s" and at least got them to agree to 1.A, 1.B, and 1.C.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

This is why I really don't think absolute priority values work. I much prefer relative priority, i.e. dragging cards into an order.

Of course, the challenge with that is in clarifying that it's not a strict order in which tasks will be tackled.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago

You are a wizard.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I have had multiple managers who are incapable of understanding this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Could be worse, mine have started saying "the MVP must be feature complete and 100% bug free" but there's a 0% chance there's enough budget for that.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And what sort of an MVP is feature-complete and completely bugless?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Minimum Viable Player

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And yet he is better then most

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Better and most? Wow. But most only later? Huh.

Edit: not meant to be toxic... Guess the inflections weren't conveyed well through text.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (2 children)

A good project manager can make all the difference. I've worked with shitty ones and great ones. Great ones are on top of the project, fielding questions and wrangling together key players. Shit ones don't do any of that then get surprised on their own call when they are behind schedule.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

The more I learn about project managers the more I realize I am a project manager in a factory. Just a criminally underpaid project manager...

We don't have titles here because god forbid anyone discover what their value actually is.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

what does "get surprised on their own call" mean?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

They are usually responsible for planning, generating, and running regular project team meetings. So they get people together but sometimes have done no work since the last meeting they held, so when someone has a reasonable issue that doesn't meet with the pre done schedule 5 years ago when the project was first instigated, they have super Pikachu face and get mad at the actual doers because they don't get to just report "on schedule" to their bosses. They could be called the landlords ofthe project based on the sentiment of the greater Lemmy community.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not sure whether to laugh or cry at this one..

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago

Considering what a fucking tragicomedy life on Earth has turned into, I think doing both – possibly at the same time – is a valid reaction

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I've worked with the worst project managers. Sit in a meeting for an hour completely silent, then at the end ask questions that were already answered. I'd love that job. That or scrum master. Our scrum master is fucking useless. I think if he doesn't move stories around swim lanes he will explode.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (2 children)

When I first started applying for IT jobs back in the day I would see "Scrum Master" jobs get posted a lot and I would think to myself "why the fuck do they need to hire a rugby player" before I knew what a scrum master actually did.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I think a rugby player would be more useful in some situations

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I once met one of those.

Just the type @Cold_Brew_Enema is talking about. Self-important douche who literally tried holding presentation on what scum master does. On a recreational evening. And we had no choice but sit there and listen because the space we were spending the evening in was the conferencerooms/sauna of their company. Then he had a brilliant idea of making people do airplanes as a "social activity." Ugh. The average age in that room was past 30.

And yes I'm aware I wrote "scum", it was on purpose. It was either that or "cum", but I don't want to slut-shame anyone and imagine any potential cum masters out there being more pleasant to be around than him.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

When I see posts like this I just remember those old crotchety engineers who would gripe about "scrum bad", then would absolutely refuse to participate in collaborative planning activities with their fellow teammates. They tended to be the primary source of bad vibes and work breakdowns

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Yeah scrums are great, and just somehow every single company that has them is doing them wrong, it is everyone else's fault.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

They'll be all replaced by simple AIs

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

did he also learn to complain about the quality of your work despite clearly being incapable (or unwilling) of doing it better himself?

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago

He didnt hire himself, he hired you..