this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

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  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
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[–] [email protected] 84 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Wow, it never occurred to me this is an option. Honestly seems more efficient than trying to pry out the cold strands while trying unsuccessfully to not break them.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 weeks ago (10 children)

If you add some olive oil to the spaghetti before storing it and don’t pack the container that tight, you won’t have that problem in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It doesn’t have to be oil. A bit of water (it’s surprising how little will do) enables the starch to dissolve, which essentially glues the spaghetti together.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Both are problematic if you want sauce to stick. You gotta use a little of whatever you’re going to eat it with.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago

Great, now I have little bits of fork stuck in my teeth.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Olive oil solidifies at fridge temperatures, surely it wouldn't help much here?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It seems to work for me, but I’ll admit it’s not perfect. I think the real key is not to pack the container that tight.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm hesitating between "How cold is your fridge?" and "What sort of olive oil are you using?".

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But then your spaghettiis covered in olive oil, and it gets all over your hands and your crotch and your mouth, and it's just a mess.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I just have separate containers for each serving. I reuse those plastic deli meat containers. That way I can just dump it on a plate, add a little water, cover it with another plate, put it in the microwave for a few minutes, stir and it's like fresh!

[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I have absolutely done that in the past, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I can slice off exactly how much I want, getting a good feeling for the portion size. The noodles stick together, there is no unfurling and subsequent mess when transferring them to a dish. They'll loosen up a bit when heated, but stick together enough to offer a superior eating experience - just cut a piece off and consume.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Do you live in an "as seen on tv" commerical?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Same here, I'm a part time spaghetti vandal that breaks spaghetti at least once before throwing it in the pot.

I also use both fork and knife to slice though the spaghetti mountain on the plate!

But I draw the line at overcooking spaghetti, not fond of spaghetti soup.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Don't get me wrong, the spaghetti in OP's picture definitely look soaked and not very appetizing. But the weird benefits I mentioned can be achieved otherwise.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I wonder if it would hold together well enough for a grilled cheese...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I think you could do it but you would have to move quick.

Slice the spaghettloaf into two slices, and spread mayo on one side of each slice. Keep the spaghettloaf in the fridge until youre ready to go.

You want a sizable pool of oil with a high smoke point - heat it up until it's nearly smoking, then quickly add 2 sliced spaghetti, mayoless side down. The first side in the oil will form the inside of your grilled cheese, let it sizzle until it starts to crisp, then flip, add your cheese and let both outsides sizzle a minute to gain structure.

Once both outsides have some rigidity, fold the sandwich together. Continue to flip & cook until desired color is reached.

Sprinkle with salt, pepper, fresh parsley, and a little parmesan cheese, and dip in your favorite marinara sauce.

Recipe can be made vegan with vegan cheese and mayo.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

i would do that. i may have already done that

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Me too. What are you supposed to do? Extra work?

I furl each strand carefully? Soak in hot water and have slimey spaghetti? Lick the entire bundle slowly till it warms up and unfurls? Rest on bosom until it unfurls?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Believe it or not, straight to jail.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Who the fuck stores plain pasta like that? It was already a giant gelatinous cube the moment you refrigerated it.

Also people please cook your pasta in the tomato sauce. Drain the pasta a minute or two before your preferred tenderness and then cook the pasta in the tomato sauce. It’s so much better.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, I have questions about how one ends up with an entire pack of spaghetti as "leftovers".

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

Everything about this picture is a food crime.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I wouldn't hesitate to cut me a slice and microwave it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Tcouple slices in the toaster to get nice and crispy, fill with Cheetos and ketchup, bone apple teeth

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Batter and breadcrumb your slice of congealed noodles, and pan fry it.

(If you want to make yet another food culture twitch, you can call this a kugel.)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

What's wrong babe? You haven't touched your spaghettiloaf.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I always mix the leftover pasta with the leftover sauce when I store it.

That doesn't prevent me from scooping out a portion this way, but at least the pasta isn't a brick.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

at least the pasta isn’t a brick.

How can you eat it like a cookie if it's not a sliced brick? ;-P

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

They clearly should have used an ice cream scoop.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Who makes PLAIN spaghetti??? Is this person my 4 year old?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

What’s wrong babe you’ve hardly touched your spaghettiloaf.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

This would absolutely be my husband if he opened a container like that. Scooped a hole in the middle of the brownies I made a few weeks ago.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

He is going to food jail.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Lmao, classic troll brownie move. Bonus if he still cut out a square of brownie, but diagonally in the center.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I can't eat a brownie unless it's $ shaped

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Mmmm. Spaghetti loaf

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Stop taking pictures in my house.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

You need a deli slicer for that pasta loaf.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

It's coming from inside the house...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

square spaghetti, just the way the Drifter likes it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Use a cookie cutter like the rest of us

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Who keeps leftover spaghetti like this in the first place? Where the sauce isn't already mixed with the pasta? This is the kind of madness using jarred sauce does to a person.

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