this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago

I had someone tell me I could fuck her harder. That isn't what turns me on. Oh well.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"you mind if I put some music on to get me going?"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

I had almost forgotten this insanity.. My colleagues are giving me weird looks, while I try to contain my laughter

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Dude show some emotion moan cry call upong your pagan gods, anything. Some guys just be there thrusting with their eyes closed and no sound. That's why she thought you weren't enjoying it.

[–] [email protected] 160 points 1 week ago (5 children)

"do what you want to me" is my least favourite dirty talk. The base idea is that we both currently WANT to do the same dirty rough sex but for some reason we're not doing it. What makes her think he's NOT doing what he wants right now? What if he's a for fetishist and wants to put her foot in his mouth and jerk off? What if he just wants her to eat his ass?

Clearly "do what you want to me" doesn't mean do what you want to me. "do what you want to me" means "I have a specific type of rough sex in mind but I'm not able to express my desires clearly, so I've projected them into my partner and I've made it their responsibility to understand me and do the right type of sex stuff to me"

I know this is basically an unhinged response to a greentext but I've had so many bad experiences with that specific line. Is wanting clear communication before and during sex about the sex we're about to perform too much to ask for?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Oh, so "Do what you want to me" doesn't mean put her feet in my mouth and jerk off? But that's what I want.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

She contractually cannot complain

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm very sex positive and my partners have been too, so I don't really have this issue, but I think porn has really affected both heterosexual men and women's perception of sex. You hear it from the female perspective a lot where men just start hitting or choking them during sex, but there's a cultural undercurrent of the opposite experience where women will try and take a guys hand to her throat and apply pressure because for some reason asking to be choked is weird but that isn't. Both men and women are seeing rough sex portrayed in porn and assuming that's the sex everyone wants/is having. In reality, it's dangerous to do breathplay with an inexperienced partner and that's not something you just spring on them. I think sex is still a taboo subject and people need to get more comfortable speaking about it. I think the idea of enthusiastic consent and how it incorporates into foreplay is often the deciding factor in how an encounter goes, but often neither party knows how to engage in it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

When I hear people say that porn is bad for your brain I'm always confused. But then I remember rape and cheater porn are two of the most popular forms of porn.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (14 children)

Enthusiastic consent is so sexy! I also love open scene planning beforehand for kinkier sex so that everyone gets what they want out of it and avoid things they don't want.

A lot of people still find both unsexy and think sex should both be purely spontaneous AND meet all their kinks somehow.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

Sounds like something that could be very easily solved with basic communication.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Right on the head, I've had a woman try to tell me to be rougher and take what I want.

Sure, right after you sign a fucking waiver - I'm not about to 'take what I want' and have you turn around and claim I forced you into something.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

The waiver isn't legally binding. Wouldn't waste your time.

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[–] [email protected] 106 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Well, I assume the girlfriend knew the guy REALLY liked Ol' Reliable, right? In this case, screaming "do what you want to me," while clearly indicating a desire for something else, has been 100% respected.

If you want something different, say it specifically. Our pee pees are touching, kinda' late for being Victorian about it...

[–] [email protected] 102 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Should have called her a fuckin retard

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

The internet has ruined dirty sex talk.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

I randomly remember that story and crack up

[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Totally fake, and gay. Anon never has sex, and if they did, it would be up their own ass

That being said, old man babbling incoming

Why people gotta always want the crazy shit? Like, can we not just have some nice, gentle, loving sex more often? Why we all gotta pretend there's a camera on and be all contorted and have things shoved in our ears and shit?

Like, motherfuckers, put on some Barry White and get your slow jam on. Get some deep, grinding, balls up against them fucking going. Let that fucking fire build up until you both melt into each other.

I ain't saying to never get your pound on! Nah, as long as your partner is up for it, play big daddy jackhammer. But gods damn, that ain't a fucking fleshlight you're inside of, and that ain't a giant dildo you're riding. It's a person, explore that motherfucker, get that deep fucking going on. And I don't mean where the dick is knocking on the cervix and wanting in, I mean feel that shit, feel every inch sliding in and out of that steamy goodness.

See, you do that kind of fucking, when one or both of you get to the climax, that shit comes out of your soul. You want that shit to be mind altering, where you're seeing dragons fucking and unicorns rearing against alien skies and shit.

You the one with the dick, you fuck that pussy like you love it, like it's the most precious thing in the world. You the one with that pussy, you wrap that thing up in your hot and salty goodness and hug it tight like it just got home from the war.

Make love with that shit

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

New pasta just dropped

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 week ago

Great writeup though.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

i mean yes but people should also be allowed to express their love in whatever ways they and their partner find appealing. If their version of love making is a hardcore bdsm scene involving pegging, pet-play, piss-play and some kink we've never heard of but has an underground scene of thousands, who am I to say that that act to them is what sensual love making is to you?

i mean don't get me wrong, I do like an old-fashion so to speak, but other people like different things, and that should be ok.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

On yeah, you like that you fucking retard!?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I think about this story like once a month.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

What story again

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I prefer slow, but I also like pleasing my partners. I straight up tell them that if you say "do whatever you want with me", it's gonna be slow. If they want to be slammed harder than Pete Hegseth downing a beer, then they need to say that instead.

Communication, people. I know it's cliche to say communication is important, but it is.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Flip her over on her belly and do her ~~missionary doggy~~ prone-bone style.

Edit: thanks @[email protected]!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

*prone bone

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago

Ask for bank card and pin.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe stop shouting, some of us try to sleep here!

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

Slow deliberate strokes to finish is a fun way to change it up from pounding away.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Means she needs the old AM radio dials fine tuned, antenna extended, and solid rockin the boom box. Pick up the squawk box and dance to the jams

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