this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 262 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Lol yeah 35k to sign your life away to the government. Ill just smoke weed in my duck costume thank you very much.

[–] [email protected] 88 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think nowadays it's more like "35k to join the World Terrorism Organisation ©®™"

I'd choose the duck too

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

America is terrorist?

Always has been.

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[–] [email protected] 131 points 9 months ago (19 children)

They sent a recruiter to my place of employment back when I was in retail. They asked me if I ever thought of joining the armed forces, and I gave them a polite but firm no.

So then they asked "are you happy with where your life is going?", trying to take advantage of me being a teenager stuck in retail.

Even if they werent asking you to throw your life away in some oil war to protect corporate interests, even if they weren't asking you to sell your morals away, they're aggressive assholes. So fuck them they're getting the treatment they deserve.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Had a recruiter stop by my desk about two years after I enlisted, and tried to pitch the navy to me.

I started laughing at him, then when he got all offended and mentioned me "working in a dead end job in the middle of nowhere" I shot back with "beats DYING in the middle of nowhere, where nobody above your CO will even bother reading the casualty report let alone care" , and that if the navy REALLY wanted me they should have returned my calls after I got a medical discharge for having emergency surgery in basic, then denying my reenlistment due to having a surgery in my adult life.

Of course at this point in my life, with the knowledge and ideals, I wouldn't touch the MIC with a 899.16cm pole.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for your take.

Completely unrelated to what you said, I appreciate seeing so many star trek fans around here. It really makes lemmy feel like a home.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm a huge trek nerd so this place is basically like A Little Piece of Heaven.

I'm slowly getting my wife into it, but she's still learning the basics so it's great to have a place to read and discuss the finer points.

Like how much RICK FUCKING BERMAN sucks ass, and how Captain Jellico may be a good starfleet captain but he's still an asshole and not a great enterprise captain

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 9 months ago (5 children)

My high school made us take the ASVAB. I ended up with an 88, and it took threats of harassment charges to stop all 3 major branches from just showing up at my house unannounced.

They also straight up lied when trying to get me to join the reserves, saying I'd never be called to active duty. But, they had already been calling reserves to active duty in Afghanistan/Iraq. Idk why they thought I'd be dumb enough to believe them, considering they wanted me because of my test score.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I got something stupid like a 96 on the ASVAB and I just told the first air force guy I smoked a lot of weed and I never heard from any military again lmao

It was tempting when they offered me to go right into a program to become a satellite operator starting off making $125k/year immediately after boot camp... but I don't regret not taking that offer. Who knows what would have actually materialized, anyways. Probably would have been 6 years deep dreaming of hopefully seeing 6 figures one day while I end up managing logistics or something.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Idk why they thought I’d be dumb enough to believe them,

It's literally their job to lie and there's a good chance this is a lie they were successfully sold when they joined.

The US Military is basically just an MLM that ends with your kneecaps blown off in a friendly fire incident.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

Idk why they thought I’d be dumb enough to believe them, considering they wanted me because of my test score.

I think therein lies your answer. Their own test scores were low enough to think you might eventually join.

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 9 months ago (9 children)

35k in 2022 is not a living wage.

[–] [email protected] 120 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It's not the wage. It's an enlistment bonus for shipping out to basic within a short time frame of enlisting. Meant to help fill vacancies in the Army.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nobody wants to join the military because people are tired of going to fight strangers in foreign countries they have no beef with. We're figuring out that our military is actually more of a terrorist organization with veto power in NATO.

Plus you know, people are worried about the impending climate crisis and the future water wars more than the geopolitical dick swinging the military is used to enforce.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 9 months ago (4 children)

plus all we ever hear about from vets is how this country refuses to take care of them... the abysmal state of veteran care in this country has broken the line in many traditionally long running military families. like, if big papa breadwinner of the traditional southern family comes back broken and unable to work that family just ends up on the street. that alone breaks that chain of what may have been 10 generations of military men. now think of every less extreme scenario and how common they are and how they affects the minds of those children that may have previously been gung-ho to sign up.

veterans these days have little pride over what they accomplished or failed to accomplish, the war stories are hard to make glorious sounding, they all have some severe medical issue caused by the military that the military refuses to acknowledge and/or help them with, so very many homeless veterans...

I'm not at all pro military, but even I can see how ridiculously fucked it is that a man can sign his life away to fight for a county and for that county to not even have the decency to pick him up out of the fucking dirt after...

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Meant to help fill vacancies in the Army.

I thought it was to help boost sales of Dodge vehicles

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

Same thing.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Not to mention clothing, housing, food are all taken care of too. Not to mention perks of military base discounts and programs.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 9 months ago (11 children)

Plus, you abandon all bodily autonomy and you might be wounded or killed.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And even if you're not, the chances of PTSD are astronomical! Not to mention the likelihood of having to do something morally reprehensible.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

All bonuses in my book

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It is when you are in the military and housing, food, and healthcare are paid for. At that point all you REALLY need the 35K for is to buy a V6 Camaro (or Mustang).

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (3 children)

That's the sign on bonus. The salary is around $22,000 a year starting. Abysmal, but you don't have to pay for much. Food, and housing and insurance is covered.

Army wouldn't be my choice, but my best friend did his 20 and out in the air force and climbed high enough in the ranks that he was making six figures. He got to retire at 38 with free Healthcare the rest of his life and gets like $60k a year and got to go to a lot of cool places (as well as shit ones, of course). AF or coast guard be about the only ones I'd consider.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 9 months ago (3 children)

$18.50 is all they can offer? They can indeed fuck right on off. In this economy?

[–] [email protected] 62 points 9 months ago (1 children)

18.50? Not even close. You're working way more than 40 hours a week!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago

Yeah you're not clocking out and getting stoned/drunk watching old Cartoon Network shows if you work for the military.

Once you sign, you're living that life for a chunk of years.

And if you really fuck up, military courts are brutal compared to civilian court.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 9 months ago

You're on the clock 23 hours and 59 minutes of the day. That hourly rate is MUCH lower.

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Thank you for your service Duck Chad 🫡

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don't 🦆 join 🦆 the 🦆 armed 🦆 forces 🦆

[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago

"Hey duck sign guy, you want a $10k signing bonus so you can be right back here in five years minus working legs?"

[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Alternative storyline:

be sign spinner

Hate your Job

Sign up for military

Get assigned to color guard

Military sign spinner

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"We know 35k won't get you far, but PTSD is forever. Imagine blowing your brains off because you can't sleep at night!"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (5 children)

This right here is my experience, don't recommend.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago

The people have spoken and the military listened - they lowered enlistment standards. Lol.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago

Hate your shitty life brought to you by the system?

Come kill people for the system!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Ducks don't kill people.

Well, they do but only for fun.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Depending on where this was and how long ago, this is pretty close to minimum wage in some us states. If they get paid as much to wear a duck costume, at no risk except their pride, why wouldn’t they?

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