There wasn't.

I made one.

I myself have a battle Pug. Come and pet it, Harkkonen.

wargies?

People that act like this voted for the fascists.

Real gangsta ass niggas dont flex nuts, cause real gangsta ass niggas know they got em.

I'm reminded of when McDonalds did their Rick and Morty szechuan sauce promotion, and basically no place actually had it.

It was a big story that Rick and Morty fans harassed workers complaining that the franchise lied to them.

It got so bad that McDonalds released an app to show where and when stories had the sauce, and announced they'd be selling posters as well. Unfortunately, some locations lied or at least misused the app to say they had the sauce when they didn't.

So I went to one location with my brother, and we found a line forming outside. The store wasn't allowed to sell the posters till late in the afternoon for some reason, and wouldn't let anyone there for the sauce even enter the building with cashiers actively blocking any Rick and Morty fan from entering, even just looking college age was enough to be refused entry.

I thought this was ridiculous and just said "Wow, the only thing that'd make this worse is if they didn't have the sauce.", only for the lady guarding the door to tell me that they did indeed not have the sauce, despite the app saying they did.

There was this guy simping hard for her, mi'lady style, and a bunch of brodudes talking about how they're so Nihilistic and Smart "JUST LIEK RICK!", whole thing was a shit show. He said "Oh yeah, no they don't have the sauce, I asked."

He was eating cheeseburgers despite not being allowed in, apparently you could have the food brought out to you if you used the app.

It was fucking cold that day. Still feels like, even false advertising aside, something about this had to be illegal.

So I said "Fuck this, I'm leaving.", just got into my car, went to Wendy's, ordered chicken nuggets and the most asian sounding sauce they had. Posted one of the only food selfies I've ever done of what I ordered

"Was going to post me eating the sauce, but I went to Wendy's instead because this store actually has products they claim to offer."

A friend of mine asked the next day what was up with that post, because Food Selfies or even regular selfies are just THAT out of character for me, and I told him the story.

He looked at me geniunely impressed, and said "Wait, you valued your own self-respect over the 'cool corporate thing', voiced your dissatisfaction, and calmly left without making a scene or embarassing yourself? If anyone was Rick at this event, it was you"

I just said "Huh", as I didn't do that to be cool, I was just hungry, wanted to buy nuggets, and didn't get them from a store that lied about having them...

It was then that my brother, who had been with me when we went to McDonalds spoke up, admitting he didn't even think of what we actually did that day either, we just up and said "Screw you guys, I'm coming home." and said one of the wisest things I'll never forget

"If you think you're Rick, it means you're Jerry."

If he got in your face and you had your hand up and it just barely touched his chest he'd be yelling "CALL 911!! THATS ASSAULT!!!"

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.”

Either that or since concealed carry is legal in a ton of states just start firing blindly in every direction and then basically everything you said

We have something similar: we'd say someone is "all bark, no bite".

In Dutch we have that saying too. "Blaffende honden bijten niet." Barking dogs don't bite.

I think a jacket that says "I'll shit my pants if you try to fight me, for reals." would actually be more effective.

Who wants to get into a fight with someone with squidgy undies?

If you need an AR-15 to feel safe at Target, the problem is you....

Or you're a character in Fallout and there are Raiders in the Super Duper Mart

Yeah. Just do what normal autistic people like me do. Put earbuds in both ears.

Does anyone ever think the guys with anything at all like that on their clothing have forgotten how to be violent?

I don't think he's forgotten - I think he's old and fat and has mostly lost the ability to be violent, except maybe to his wife. A young, fit man would beat the shit out of him and he knows it. IMHO that's a big reason gun nuts are so into their guns, because it compensates for their physical weakness.

It’s like a car covered with bumper stickers. It’s mental illness. Unhealthy fear and rage leaking out around the edges and corrupting the facade of decency.

Dude I'll jump in to protect the corgis