Have you checked for any holes in your wall? Maybe you coughed or sneezed while sleeping.
Greentext
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
I dunno how exhausted or drunk you’d have to be to pass out with one of those things inserted. Seems like it’d feel like a turd half out and your body would prefer you deal with that and not fall asleep.
Spoken like somebody who's never used a butt plug
Yeah, that’s why I said “seems like” and not “when I do it (this) happens”.
You do you.
Nah good ones are pretty comfy and after a while if you don't cause it to shift you forget it's there
It's another carbon monoxide poisoning poisoning
Anon will need a plumber because he got up in a daze to use the bathroom.
It's a riddle. It was made of ice.
Imagine the frostbite
I like how he clarifies that he lives alone.
"Sure, one of my roommates could have come in and poked around in my butthole while I was sleeping. But no one was in a position to do such a thing."
Hey I had a roommate that would steal my inserted butt plugs while I was sleeping.
Buttplug fairy takes the buttplug and leaves you with a shart.
Know your local mythology.
Do people actually do this?
I do yea
People aren't buying all those butt plugs for decoration. People fall asleep. I don't imagine many people sleep with them on purpose, but certaintly possible to pass out with a butt plug in place.
Sorry, I thought the implication was that someone intentionally slept with one in. I don't know how you'd sleep like that.
falling asleep is the easy part, the hard part is waking up with a sore asshole knowing you need to make it worse to make it better
That's why hard plugs are for short periods of fun times, and soft plugs are for all day / all night usage.
Speaking from experience.
I mean, your hole shouldn't be sore in the morning unless you're sizing up with a new plug. Especially not with a stereotypical conical thin necked black silicone one. I've slept with plugs with a neck diameter of like 1.25" before
Maybe? This came from 4Chan so it's very possible it could be entirely made up lol
"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
Literally on 4chan as a header.
also, a statement by Fox News lawyers. (though maybe they used the word "entertainment" instead.)
Made up aaaaand?
Attracted to the same gender
4chan makes me believe it more in this case
Anon needs to go to a hospital soon
Better get an MRI to look for it
It's under the bed.
Did it have a flared end?
If yes:
It's in the toilet, he sleep walked and took a shit and doesn't remember.
or
He pooped it out while sleeping and his dog ate it.
If no:
Butt plug goblins.
They can be warded away with a metamucil potion.