Anal(probably)
No me gusto poopoo en mi peepee
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2025
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Skateboarding; tried it once because I thought (and still think) it was one of the coolest things ever but immediately fell on my face before even thinking about doing cool stuff.
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Salvia Divinorum
At one point in time I could probably have been convinced to try a lot of things. Fortunately for me (probably) Salvia Divinorum was the first thing I tried after marijuana, and it so thoroughly destroyed any notion I had that I could control my experience that it put me off trying just about everything else I was curious about.
Thank god the entire experience is single digit minutes.
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I went on one of those rides that lifts you in the air, then drops you until you reach the bottom. Never again. Couldn't sleep for weeks after that.
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Weed and alcohol. I don't want to go on that ride again.
Bungee jumping.
I didn't even want to do it to begin with, I just got in the wrong line for the big waterslide at Manteca Waterslides and said "fuck it, why not?"
Hated it. And this was in a special location, with a giant air bag under you. I can't imagine base jumping from a bridge or on the side of a mountain of something. 😨
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Technically, I guess this was twice, but the mari-hwanas.
Smoked a little in a perfectly lovely part of Amsterdam with my wife, who importantly is NOT a chronic overthinker who was raised by uptight Southern-fried Mormons, but I just immediately got paranoid and was obsessed with the likelihood that two random Dutch guys were staring at me and planning something bad. The fact that ten years later I still think it was possible they were eyeing us, while she is completely dismissive, tells me I do not need to be smoking pot.
Also tried some edibles in the hotel room, but that just made me sleepy with nothing particularly fun happening, though admittedly nothing bad happened either. Very "Meh."
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Paintball.
Took a hit directly on the neck the first time I tried it. Had a big sun shaped yellow and purple bruise on my neck for weeks.
Pass.
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Snow skiing. After about the 50th time falling over I said "I'm not enjoying this at all," took off my skis, and enjoyed the rest of the day not falling over.
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Tried snowboarding, never again.
Turns out, your legs need to be really strong, or you’ll have your hands on the ground too often. If that happens like every minute, your shoulders are not going to be pleased with that. I have a feeling that this short experiment may have caused some minor damage my physiotherapist was unable to detect.
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Paid extra in a movie. Worst $80 I've ever earned.
Funny how being an unpaid extra is a totally different experience. It was a giant party. I was in the crowd at the Steelers stadium when Bane blew up the field in Dark Knight Rises. We had to crouch down behind seats and look terrified. We couldn't fucking understand anything of what Bane was saying, but assumed it would be fixed in post. Haha, no it wasn't.
We had swag bags. They brought out 3 Tumblers to amuse us. Most Steelers players were there, Tom Hardy ofc (who didn't even look like himself he was so jacked for that role). We got to hear what it sounds like when that 1 of 4 in existence IMAX camera broke. They fed us lots of Popsicles because it was 90-something degrees in July and they were filming a winter scene and wanted us to be wearing cold weather gear. It was a fun day. 10/10 worth the drive up from DC to go do that.
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I tried cooking an Asian dessert. It tasted like sweetened scrambled eggs.
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hydro massage. one of the worst physical sensations I've ever experienced. imagine being poked by an annoying toddler through a canvas tarp 100 times a second and also the tarp is warm and there are LOUD water sounds and your skin starts itching and just NOOOOOOPE
I'll stick with the regular massage chairs and actual massage therapy!
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