this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] [email protected] 76 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Lemmy is just Facebook now huh?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I rode in the back of a pickup, drank from the garden hose, ate leaded paint chips, huffed leaded gasoline, and got beaten within an inch of my life for not mining enough lead in the lead mines

and I turned out fine!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago
  • posted by your most deranged uncle who's got 3 DUIs and never shuts up about people with blue hair
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Nah this needs a minions background.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Literally everybody. Well okay, not literally. But figuratively literally everybody.

You're a small child incapable of providing for yourself, what else are you going to do? You eat what you're given or you starve to death.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

This is about teenagers I think.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

My kids. If you don’t like what we made there’s plenty of stuff you can make yourself.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Can I move in with you?

J/k. Unless like, you were into it? :-P

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

That's a good one, will borrow it 👍.

Though my son might just do that and slap some mayo on a piece of bread and wash that down with water.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The more I think about it, maybe that’s ok? You need some vegetation, maybe take an apple or banana, but mayo has protein from the egg, right?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

It's not bad, but it's not really good either. Sure, mayo has proteins from the eggs, but it also has a lot of fat (oil), so... some lettuce or a tomato would be nice, not just water 😒. He freaking loves water, you have to have a water bottle with you at all times. That is good, I know, but you can't replace veggies with water.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I mean, you can’t have candy for dinner. We can figure out something, even if it’s just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I ate sooo many peanut butter sandwiches as a kid; a big toasty + pb and a glass of chocolate milk was my jam for years. Shit, it kind of still is if I'm being honest.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Chocolate milk does not sound like a good jam to go in a sandwich.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Me, mom resisted cooking when possible and understood she was bad at it. Eventually my sister and I became better cooks but by then the family fell apart and the parents couldn’t sit together for a whole dinner peacefully every night.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Indeed, life does not always fall so neatly into our little boxes that we sometimes try to use to describe them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

little boxes

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Watch your mouth young man!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

THAT'S the response I was looking for!:-D

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

As a teenage boy it didn't even need to be particularly edible for me to try to eat it. When you grow six inches in 18 months you just eat everything in sight. We went through seven gallons of milk a week. One day I came home and just cooked and ate an entire pound of ground beef.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (2 children)

My first wife didn't make her son eat anything he didn't want, but he had to try it, once. Worked out.

It was sometime around then that I learned, and realized, that kids have different taste buds. They make Oscar Meyer wieners bland on purpose.

My kids? Scrawny little fucks won't eat anything. At all. I don't know how they function. It's like hugging tiny skeletons. But, that was me as a little kid. All the adults frustrated as hell with me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Yo, I did that, too. My kid always tried something new, I loved it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Yeah, my kid doesn't eat that much as well... which is weird, cuz neither his mom or me did that when we were young. I mean, we didn't overeat, but we did eat regularly.

Now that I think about it, my mom fed me blended meals till the age of 4. I was lazy, didn't wanna chew my food 😂. And she fed me meals while I was playing or watching TV till about I was 5... yeah, he's not that different from me 😂.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

eventually, everyone just started cooking for themselves because none of our schedules lined up. but until around 8th(?) grade, mom would cook whatever we probably would eat. having an autistic picky eater and another adhd picky eater leaves only like 3-4 dishes you could expect to not be thrown out.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

My mom always had lunch ready the day before, so regardless of our schedules, we could just heat up whatever she made and have lunch at whatever time we wanted... or felt like it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

ha a mom home to cook lucky bastard

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

That we are... regardless of how bad it tasted, it was healthy food. Lots of steamed or cooked vegetables, salad, very little meat (like 200gr in a dish for 4 people for 2 days, and not in every dish, this was like once a week)... say what you will, it tasted bad, she didn't put anything but salt in them, no seasoning whatsoever, but it was a very healthy balanced meal.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

My mom's cooking fucking sucked so I grew up in a home where I would eat at a friend's house or go hungry.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

My mom's cooking sucked as well, but it was either that or you eat nothing at all. It was healthy, but it didn't taste good. I didn't wanna insult her, so I ate it. Plus, it was either that or you go hungry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Never even occurred to me not to eat it. Thanks mom for being a chef

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I thought I hated pork chops my whole life until I met my wife.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Lol. Wow, I worded that terribly. Growing up, my mom butchered meals she cooked us. This included pork chops that were always overcooked. My wife is a badass cook. So she cooked pork chops and it turns out I like them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No, you worded it correctly, but the interpretations have changed from back in the day.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

The internet is always on the lookout for a possible pun.... :)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

“…and NO dessert until you eat all your broccoli!!”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

There was no dessert in my home. We ate soldier style, eat, get the dishes, go back to whatever it is we were doing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

yup, except she didn't cook every day.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Meeh, still better than not having cooked at all 🤷.

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