this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
1123 points (99.6% liked)

The Onion

4696 readers
634 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
all 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 171 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Now this is an Onion headline.

[–] [email protected] 96 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Right? Solid satire, but just to give credit where it's due, this is from hard-drive.net which is a gaming/tech focused spin-off of a music satire site called The Hard Times. They consistently crack me up so just wanted to take the opportunity to credit them.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Point taken. I meant Onion in the same way you say Kleenex instead of tissue. It’s now a general term for any satirical news article.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Oh no worries, I totally get it! I was just linking for the sake of anyone reading the comments because those are both quality sites that are worth reading. I've found the name of this community can be kind of misleading, so it's not uncommon for people to be unaware of how many quality satire sites are out there besides The Onion.

[–] [email protected] 96 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

if Mr. Mangione had spent more time pulling on his bootstraps and less time feeling sorry for himself and obsessing over his debilitating chronic back pain that UnitedHealthcare refused to cover treatment of – for I’m sure for very good reasons – he might have one day helmed a parasitic corporation of his own. Sadly, he chose another path.”

Love the satire, but one important point: Luigi didn't have UHC insurance. So if he did do this, it wasn't even because of a personal grudge - it was to strike back at a system in general that fucked him over.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Huh. I haven’t seen that factoid before.

It distances the motive from personal vendetta. It provides support to the narrative that he did this for principles, and not revenge.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Looked it up to double check, as it's what I remembered reading.

The New York Police Department told CBS News that there are no indications that Mangione was a UnitedHealthcare customer.

Officials believe Mangione may have targeted the company because of its status as the largest health insurer in the United States.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

I would imagine it might be because United denies claims more than most (all?) other major insurance providers. I mean, it could be because of that, if Luigi did it, but he's innocent so this is purely hypothetical.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

They were absolutely the best choice to target, the worst of the worst.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I love how it's an open secret that basically everyone fucking loves Luigi Mangione and we don't even know if he did it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Indeed, he could have just gotten a small fries.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

how long has trump being prosecuted? Years and years and years....Luigi should run for president, effective immediately so they have to delay the verdicts...

[–] [email protected] 69 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ugh... I don't think he deserves the death penalty

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Deserve, by what standard? Moral, religious, legal? How do we measure deserve

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Oh... It was a joke... Because having united health care as your insurance is basically a death sentence

[–] [email protected] 63 points 4 days ago

Cruel and unusual punishment.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

There are plenty of toll evaders, homeless, minorities, and otherwise lesser people whose lives you could have taken, and were that the case I would not feel so inclined to mete out such a harsh sentence but in this instance you leave me no choice but to impose the harshest ruling possible.

Never change, The Onion, never change!

Edit: alright, I assumed it was the Onion based on the community. But sure, it was some other site.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

You mean hard-drive?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Bold of you to assume my drive gets hard....

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's a sub called the onion brother, people assuming the articles posted being from the onion is the default

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Half of the posts aren't even from the onion here

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But the community name sure is the onion right? So if someone comes in here and assumes the article is from the onion then that's a pretty reasonable assumption right?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

I thought so too but then I counted. Apparently there are a lot more satire sites that are gaining popularity.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

That's Vader-level "I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

A fate almost worse than death.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

hahaha spot on

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Meh, letting him off too easily. There's no way he survives 25 years under those conditions.