If I see a lady burying something in the woods behind my house no I didn't
this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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And if I’m on a jury I can acquit for whatever reason I want (just don’t tell the judge your reason, they don’t like that).
I dream of jury nullification.
This is not encouragement, it’s all meant as a joke, then and now.
I worked with two ladies who were heavy into true crime. Consumption of true crime is, apparently, at hobby level proportions among white women. They’re joking they know now, whether they want to or not, how to dispose of a body after all their true crime consumption. The lead doctor emerges and asks, jokingly, how? In unison, they reply: pigs.
Had a similar conversation recently with a buddy and his new girlfriend. He was astounded at how into true crime she was and wondered aloud if he needed to worry about corpse disposal from her. I’m not into true crime, but knew enough to participate. Poking fun, I looked at her and said: pigs. Without skipping a beat she said: you’d have to pull the teeth first.
you’d have to pull the teeth first.
You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do ya?
Hense the expression "as greedy as a pig"
Protip: you want to dig the hole ahead of time. Otherwise someone might stumble upon you with a body, and then you have to dig two holes.
At that point wouldn't it be more efficient just to dig one slightly larger hole?
It would get prohibitively difficult. You need to be deep enough that scavengers and cadaver dogs can't detect the body, and natural erosion doesn't uncover it. To do that you need a 5-6 foot hole, to get 4-5 feet of dirt on the body. 2 bodies in the same hole means 7-8 feet deep, which is hard to get out of and can collapse on you.
A decomposing body will also naturally cause a depression in the ground as it decomposes, two bodies would make a more pronounced depression. You can mound the dirt to counter this, but that makes it more noticeable as well.
Alternatively you can do what I do when we find dead deer on the property. Just a shallow hole with a layer of sawdust and straw covering it that's been inoculated with lactic bacteria acid.
The lactic acid bacteria supercharges the decomposition process and prevents any smell associated with putrefaction. You basically pickle the corpse with bacteria that outperforms the natural rotifier microorganisms.
In this method you can fully decompose a 150lb deer in around 30 days without any real smell. You can also then retrieve the bones, roast them over a fire to make them brittle, and then break them down to dissolve in regular vinegar, making a liquid calcium spray for your garden.
To learn how to make your own lactic acid bacteria at home using everyday products, you can look into Korean organic farming.
If you're digging a hole to bury a body, it should already be big enough that you can just toss another body in with it.
In that case you should make sure that the person dies very close to the hole you dug. Bodies are heavy! This is one of the main reasons why it’s very difficult to perform the perfect murder.
Fully grown hogs can eat up to 20 lb of "food" per day....... Just sayin'
Calm down Brick Top
Why do they call him Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
...because he dodges bullets, Avi...
Gotta love pork shortening.
They still leave evidence
You gotta crush the skull first, or they'll have trouble dealing with it.
...or so I've heard.
Not if you burn down the hog barn afterward.
Maybe you need to watch some more true crime
You better be that cops favorite little brother if you think they're going to wade into a hog pen.
I would not advocate for anyone to go a far as the meme suggests, but I will say that the most appropriate immediate response I can think of to "your body, my choice" is "your nuts, my knee."
Make sure to say it after making good on the threat. No need to telegraph.
I like the symmetry of "your cock my glock" better.
mmm i'm not quite sure i'm ready to trust that the "i've been consuming truecrime at an insane rate for a decade and have convinced myself that all men are like the ones i've been hearing about" generation of young women will check whether or not i'm minding my manners before deciding to take action against me
Yes, generally feeling unsafe around a whole gender is what this is all about.
If they don't take the time to check your manners, they probably haven't been attentively listening to the true crime. So don't worry, your body will be found!
Maybe try to get your bros to mind their manners so nobody feels the need to test out body disposal methods.
I gotta ask, do you think guys just sit around saying shit like "bro I was raping this girl just the other day.." or something? Or should I just go "Now Tommy, it's important for you to learn about consent. Yes I know you're 10yr older than I am, but I was told by internet people I have to educate my friends" instead, just make the conversation happen?
Idk about you guys but me and my friends barely even talk about sex much less details that would be criminal, which people usually try to hide. Usually the farthest it goes is "What up dude you trying to chill tonight?" "Nah sorry man I'm trying to get laid tonight, wyd tomorrow?" And then tomorrow.. "So how'd it go, get laid?" "Ye." "Nice. Yo check out this album I downloaded last night..."
And when you find out your friend has raped someone which always is found out through the girl, not the friend, because again these people know they're committing literal crime, you don't sit him down and explain what he did wrong as if he didn't know, you call the cops or you cut contact, maybe some violence thrown in. It's like that meme "nobody is recommending OSes to their friends" (of course haha linux, but that's where the parallel falls apart.)
So you’ve never overheard someone make a tasteless joke and ignored it or laughed it off? If not, congrats (maybe get your hearing checked though). Right now there are a bunch of right wing douchebags slapping each other on the back over this rape joke. Just say something if you hear it dude, that’s all we really want. Nobody’s going to murder you. Calm down.
Well, I have heard some from like comedians or whatever, and maybe back when I was in school some dickhead I don't talk to would make some joke, but those are a far cry from "friends," who I do talk to. Now working in a corporate environment, no, I definitely don't hear HR bait like that ever, most people are a tad smarter than that it seems.
It could be that I'm "friends" with my "friends" because "none of us are the type to rape people" and stuff, of course. Maybe you're just hanging out with rapists and I'm not?
And when did I say I was worried about being killed? Statistically if I am, it probably was my partner, since that's how that works, but I'm simply speaking on the logistics of educating my friends about rape, it's just not something that's gonna come up like that, we're just trying to play spades and sip some whiskey we're not interrogating each other over our sexual history.
It’s not just your friends you should be giving feedback to, but I think you get what I was trying to say and you’re just being a bit of a pedant right now. You do your thing. If you’re not worried about violence then obviously this comment thread wasn’t meant for you. The guy I was replying to WAS worried about it, so I gave him an actionable way to improve things.
Feels like you’re being very defensive here. Just don’t be a shitty guy, and call out shitty guys when you see them if you want to make shit better. It’s not that deep.
this guy very much hasn't. his comment history is damning to say the least
Invest in woodchipper stocks, got it.
Vsisne, Pre formula change Antifreeze, denatured alcohol.
Always the minority making the rest of us look bad.