The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
Hey, bud. I can't leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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Saying NO is a superpower!
"Hey, Sanctus. Where are you going? I was hoping you'd finish that report before noon?"
NO
"Uh, OK? Guess I'll see you at the meeting with our main customer then."
NO
See how easy that is?
Mate, it's impossible to work with you, we'll have to make you redundant, I'm sorry.
NO
while curling 50 lb. dumbbells
"fuck, he's got us. We'll have to regroup and think of another tactic."
- wake up at 5:30am
Fuck right off.
I wake up earlier than that these days yet i somehow manage to stay far less smug about it. Though i will gladly fuck off, it's a ridiculous time to be waking up
Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day
I mean, same honestly. Thank god for remote working (but if any hiring managers are reading I totally work all day at home).
5:30am - Wake up in the mornin' feeling like P. Diddy 6:00am - Grab my glasses; I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city 5:45am - Before I leave, brush my teeth, with a bottle of Jack 'Cause when I leave for the night I ain't comin' back
Wake up between 7 and 10 depending on what timezone I'm in, I work late so I don't need an alarm. Open the hotel blinds to get some real light. Eat some yogurt. Do a light work out. Shower. Do whatever until whenever my phone says go to work. Work 3–14 hours based on whatever schedule is on my phone. Go to hotel. Go to bed. Appreciate the fact that I have no meetings ever and at least 16 days off a month.
And here's mine:
- 6:30 am - wake up due to 4yo kicking or whatever
- 7 - clean up the kitchen a bit
- 7:30 - make breakfast and lunch for myself and kids
- 8:15 - drive kids to school (we decided on a charter school, so no bus service)
- 9:15 - get to work and refill my water bottle and whatnot
- 9:30-11 - morning meetings
- 11-12 - pretend like I'm working/check email/etc
- 12-1 - lunch
- 1-3 - work on my tasks for the day
- 3-5 - fix something that went wrong, because something always goes wrong just before I go home
- 5-6 - drive home (would take 30 min w/o traffic, but here we are)
- 6-7 - make dinner or clean up house
- 7-9 - get kids ready for bed (takes forever because they're really looking for time w/ me)
- 9-10 - do adult stuff, like paying bills or shopping for birthdays/christmas stuff; maybe take a walk w/ SO; if the stars align, read a book or play video games
So yeah, that's me. I get about as much done in those 2 hours of actual work as many of my coworkers get, so I think I'm doing alright.
Here's an alternative schedule when I WFH:
- 6:30-8:45 - same as above, just w/o commute
- 10-12 - do work (we have fewer meetings on WFH days
- 12-1 - get some exercise in my garage (kids are at school)
- 1-3 - do more work while eating lunch
- 3-5 - play video games or something in my home office (I've already done 2x the work I normally do)
- 5-6 - make dinner or clean up house
- 6-8 - hang out with family
- 8-8:30 - get kids ready for bed (much easier since I can work the bedtime routine in the "hang out" part)
- 8:30-10 - same as above, but I have an extra 30 min (hooray!!)
So yeah, most of what the OP posted cannot apply to me, but I get a similar amount of work done.
Terms like "connect", "be present", "superpower" tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.
It was the "no meetings before 2pm" and "3 hours of no distraction" that gave it away for me.
Mourning routine, lol.
My mourning routine is generally to dress less colorfully than usual and gather with others who knew the deceased to commiserate over our mutual loss.
Most of these make sense but its from a very privileged perspective.
"Boosts testosterone". I bet this dude thinks of himself as an alpha male.
-
wake up whenever, alarm usually goes off 8:30. Maybe i hit snooze a buncha times
-
start work at 10. Wfh, pants optional
-
work according to load, mostly fart about house.
-
Take a long walk for lunch, usually blow out my step requirements
-
fuck off work 3:30, go fuck around in garden until sun sets
-
big fat dinner sitting on my arse watching telly with hubs, then gaming after he goes to bed at 9ish
-
bed around 1ish under fat purring cat.
Wake up at 5:30am
Counter offer: go to hell
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you're up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be 'won' by this point, and you still haven't gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
I dunno, I feel like I've won on any day I don't have to lift heavy things.
Wake up at 5:30 then go for a walk. It is recommended to take a 30 min to 1 hour walk in the morning. Also including prep time so I'd say about 15 minutes. So let's say we're at 6:45 now. Wait 90 minutes so now we're at 9:45. Now making americanos at home is also time consuming if it isn't pre prepped or if you don't have a full espresso setup in your home, it could take 30 or 45 minutes and you'd have take it stronger to compensate for the ice melting in the hot cup. So now we're at 10:30. 3 hours of work, 1:30. Lift weights; you can get that done in 30 minutes, but you also have to factor in cleaning yourself up or else you're just going to baste in your own sweat all day until you shower. So I'd give that another 30 minutes. It is now 2:00, you're late for your meetings which removes your "superpower" to say no, you didn't factor in any time to eat lunch, your blood sugar is probably bottoming out because you had a very caffeine rich coffee drink and lifted weights without nutrients, and you're going to feel like garbage until you get food in you.
Horrible plan
In fairness he says 90 minutes after waking, not 90 minutes after the walk. If you get home from the walk by 6:30 that's 30 minutes to make it, or potentially buy it if you have one nearby to get on the way home/quickly drive to.
Now yes that's already 10am, but considering he mentions 2pm in the right column, you could make the argument the left column is the "until 10am" part, and the right is "after 10am" part, though I am giving large amounts of benefit of the doubt at this point.