This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
If you are a man, do not go to bars or clubs alone and expect anything unless you are like, insanely hot or charming. But if you are either of those things you don't need my advice. Either go with friends or do something more actively social, like a class or outright social group.
dating apps are bleak as fuck, yes.
Such is life if you don't follow rule 1&2.
I had a friend who tried the same thing, bars and such. He didn't try anybody in his friend group and he was more ir less isolated at work, so there was no real pool of people to look into. I suggested getting a cheap seat at the ballpark and he balked saying he didn't like sports. I told him even if he walked the concourse, there were still folks he could interact with. He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.
He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.
I suggested getting a cheap seat at the ballpark
He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.
Oof
That last line hits like a truck.
Or like cocaine
Woah that story took a turn I Did not expect
Ez secks and drugs. That's better than a relationship.
Wild.
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
"Do not give off mating signals unless you are given mating signals" how is that gonna work if nobody is supposed to initiate anything?
choosing signals
Intaresting
Came here to comment that the fact OOP uses language like "choosing signals" is probably the reason women aren't interested in talking to them.
I go out and interact with strangers all the time, make acquaintances and friends, and when I was interested, even met women to date. I'm autistic, awkward, and have anxiety. If I can do it, most neurotypicals should be able to as well. I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously. It takes time to build rapport with an individual or group, but consistency is key. You'll often be surprised by the people who look forward to seeing you.
The true key is…counterintuitive as this sounds, not looking.
Try enjoying yourself, meeting people, doing things you like. People can sense desperation or dishonesty in you when you’re feigning interest or trying to get in their pants. Just…be a decent person, and you can find people who you get along with. It happens more naturally that way and you’re more likely to find…yknow, people you like and who like you.
And plus, once you do have a relationship, it'll be a lot stronger because you won't desperately need to be in that relationship at any costs.
I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously
In my experience it's oftentimes men that are looking to date women way more attractive than them. Like some fat slob incel that refuses to date or bang a chubby chick and then gets mad they're not picking up women that are hot AF and upset "nobody will date [them]."
It's stupid, I know a guy on discord just like that. Unattractive fat guy and when I mentioned I think the biggest thing to coupling is being realistic and dating people about the same attractive level ... Dude balked at that. Was like "what about a guy that has a great personality," the man is delusional. No job, on food stamps and just getting by, living in a one bedroom (maybe studio?) apt, slobby and fat then hits the surprise Pikachu face that women don't want to date him. Not to mention his social skills. Talk about a total lack of self awareness.
Sure maybe if you were extremely rich a woman might overlook your physical appearance but let's be realistic here.
That to me is the problem most people have but I agree with the instantaneous thing too - it takes time to get in the groove so to speak. I've seen it go both ways gender wise just picking on my fellow dudes here.
I'm part of a social activity meetup group that also does a bit of volunteer stuff for folks In need. I'm already with someone but I've watched people meet and pair off in that group several times. It happens.
If you smell shit everywhere you go, check your shoes.
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a bar either. Try taking a class, joining some sort of athletic thing (jogging, cycling, yoga) volunteering somewhere. Go to a place where you're doing an activity with a group, and the focus isn't dating. Takes the pressure off and allows for getting to know people naturally.
Ireland is the only place where pubs are actual genuine places to meet and chat with strangers. And even then it can be difficult. Came back to France after 13 years and I was just flabbergasted at the difference. Everyone is out with their little group and no one seems to talk with anyone outside that little sphere. Only spot where it's socially acceptable to engage strangers is the counter itself and that's about it; and if you do it feels like you're a freak, honestly. I tried a few times to just meet people that way, and gave up.
Only way that worked for me was joining a hobby or sport or some other group like that. Volleyball got me a job within like two weeks of joining! Couchsurfing got me great friends, girlfriends and eventually my wife.
Couchsurfing got me great friends, girlfriends and eventually my wife.
I should totally try that. It'd be like: "Honey? How long is Rolando going to be staying on our couch? He spends all his time on his laptop giggling at that weird website full of communists and furries..." / "I don't know... Let's... Let's set him up with that friend of yours, I bet that'll get him out of here!"
Bruh just find a group activity - fuck I don't know, instead of paying $30 for a beer, take a painting class or something..
Just did a class and I was the only guy in it.
It was a welding class.
Yeah, my experience, too. People hang out with their friends in their friend groups. Just sucks that they don't seem to mix anymore. Networking doesn't work if there's neither opportunity nor interest.