this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Your first mistake was using a swinging weapon in an environment where only thrusting weapons have any chance, your second was having such a poor grip that despite being able to breathe underwater and being a higher lifeform than man this dipshit was able to take the sword from you...

Which goes back to problem one, as you had no way to swing the sword with enough force to do anything to the fish

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I don't know if we need to criticise her choice of weapon as much as his.

It's rocking a fucking flail underwater.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Spent all his evolution points on superfluous eyes that don't serve a purpose instead of points on intelligence.

What are bicep eyeballs supposed to do other than give you a massive case of motion sickness?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

A comically oversized flail, that realistically would have drawn him down into the depths

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Depends on it's buoyancy, though. Perhaps it's not metal?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

It's got other tactical issues. The chain being too long and the handle being too short. Overall it's not going to do much as a weapon.

But that's not really the point

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

From the angle it looked like the plan was to let the force of the onrushing fish impale itself, rather than time a slash to coincide with its onslaught. As for choice of tools, perhaps it's the only sharp one available to her. As for grip, I don't know what is standard for mermaids or whatever she is. She may have just found that sword 5 minutes ago from a shipwreck, and had no time to practice.

Remember, the theme of the comic is that she's not some super-special "lady of the lake", and instead is more just a girl with a weapon in her hand, or at least she did for a brief moment! So her not being prepared seems to go hand in hand (so to speak) with that.

None of those details are likely to make it into King Arthur's (fishy) tales that he will tell all his friends about "how I became king, once upon a time...", especially as the tail (ah... see what I did there!?:-) grows with each retelling.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 days ago (3 children)

So that man grabbed the sword from the blade and yanked it out of the mermaid's hand without her realizing? It doesn't add up.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

Nat 20 dexterity

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fish are slippery, so we can assume mermaids and their hands would be too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well that explains why their hand jobs are so good.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He's wearing tough leather gloves

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

And he's also been clearly waiting in the middle of the lake for this to happen. Hell, he probably sent the monster.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ooooo this is a great starting point for a ttrpg quest.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You arrive in the village of Cam, a small, backwater mudhole sandwiched between three swamps and a long dead forest. It isn't your first choice, but you are confident that, if nothing else, people won't give you a second glance as you walk through the gates covered in horseshit and what you hope is someone else's blood.

However, you are more right than you think. No one is looking at you at all. In fact, you don't see a soul in the town.

As you wander through the streets, you see the signs of life, but not a person in sight. Then, you hear it--a clamor--coming from the the edge of the westernmost swamp. Rounding the corner of a house of ill repute, you finally catch a glimpse of the townsfolk.

Walking towards them, you pick up on bits of the conversation. A woman, found dead and half-eaten, lies at the edge of the swamp. Any other time, this wouldn't mean anything to you, but this time it's different. Shes beautiful, or what's left of her is. Clad in a beautiful blue gown, a crown--though now crumpled--lays near her porcelain face. She is striking, and it is obvious immediately that she isn't from this town.

Over the murmur of the crowd, a voice can be heard.

"As the new king of this sad lot, I see that it falls to me to be the hand of the law. Citizens of Cam, your king requests the aid of those of stout body and sharp wit to assist the kingdom in finding out who is responsible for the death of this poor young woman. I promise 50 gold pieces for any information of value, and a full 500 gold for the capture of the nefarious soul responsible."

500 gold will go a long way to making sure you never have to eat trail rations again, and really, how hard could it be to track down a killer out here in the middle of nowhere?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago

Player 1: "Well, about that trail rations you..."

Player 2: "I start by casting Fireball!"

GM: "What? Why? What or who do you target?"

Player 2: "Dunno, but I wanted to play a meme character so badly. Can't I just cast it... in the general direction of the swamp?"

GM look with a stone cold face, grabs their dice: Go on, if you're sure...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I approach this new king and declare that I shall find this killer.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The king seems a little startled at your sudden declaration. He eyes you up and down, and then clears his throat.

"Ahem. Yes. It seems we have some volunteers, but they seem to be from another kingdom. Surely, one of the fine folk of Cam would readily take up the call?"

No one steps forward. The king seems a little apprehensive, and an insight roll tells you that he seems worried, but you can't be sure about what.

"Uhh, I see. Very well, then, adventurer. What is your name?"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I am Peb the Girl. A cleric of minor renown. These are my traveling companions:

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I am Ferro, a Druid from the once great wilderness outside of your town.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Before we get too much further into this, I'm gonna stop it. Lemmy isn't really cut out for long term play, and I have to get to work on my campaign for next week. Peb, Ferro, it's been a pleasure. May all your twenties be nat.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Aww, us silent readers were just getting into the story. I want to know how it ends.

Now we have this whole concept we ourselves need to figure out how it goes, I can't do that on my own.

I do know a guy who's very much into LARP, maybe I should brainstorm this with him and invite the weird, bearded, 40yo Warhammer-guy to see if he can add a character.

How much is a rulebook nowadays? Do I have time this weekend?

Sorry what were we doing?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'll spoil it for you. The new "King" is a wanna-be evil wizard who is stealing magical artifacts from all over the land, all while trying to establish his own kingdom. He thinks that he can point suspicion elsewhere if he hires someone to look into the murder that he caused, all while setting up his own fiefdom in Cam, but then some out of town adventurers with actual muscle come in and fuck everything up. What follows is the evil wizard trying to frame the heroes for murder while also taking them out without drawing attention to himself. I think at some point there will be a heist, likely before the final battle, where the heroes steal the wizard's artifacts and then use all of his ill-gotten gains against him.

That's what I thought of when I was writing that. Knowing TTRPG players, that would all go out the window during session 1 when they decide to befriend the wizard and help him rule.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Didn't even get a chance to reply to the original comment. this sounds like an amazing plotline, you should run it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

It would be a lot of fun, and I may do a one shot with it, but right now I have a two-year-old homebrew campaign that takes all of my DM prep time, so it'll stay on the backburner for a while.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Impressive adulting. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

This scene would have been the perfect candidate for a perfect loop.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Thats some good art right there.

Good art makin'.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Great style! Nowadays it seems that all comics are either stick figure/Marvel/anime style.

I wish current comic illustrators would try to develop a style, and check out comics from non manga/Marvel origins. The Belgian Marcinelle school, or the ligne Claire schools are two great examples.

European comics provide an amazing range of styles, the study of which could be of great value to current illustrators.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago

Well if she's swinging a sword through the water then she's already royaly fucked.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago (2 children)

She didn’t have a very good grip on it then.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

If I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Except that the scabbard makes the wearer immune to blood loss.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

I think the joke is this isn't the Lady of the Lake. The guy just saw a sword poking out of the water and thought it was Excalibur, but it isn't. So that's not its scabbard either.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Excalibur wasn't magic, the scabbard was magic. It prevented the wearer from dying of injuries or something like that, and since this is a clear Excalibur reference (the Sword in the Stone wasn't Excalibur btw) it means the Lady in the Lake still has the scabbard so she's just beaten up a bit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Well TIL.

Interesting addition is that, in Latin, the name for scabbard is the same as the female reproductive organ. So it could be taken to mean a vagina that makes one immune to bleeding.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

There seems to be some context missing here…

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)

In Le Morte d'Arthur we learn that the scabbard is actually more valuable than Excalibur itself because any wounds received by the bearer wold never bleed. In the final panel of the comic there is a large pool of blood forming, presumably by the lady of the lake's death (or maybe her hand being bitten off). There shouldn't be blood.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thanks for the history lesson! (I still like the comic, too!)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

I liked it too, great art style. Although since I'm already nitpicking: a morning star on a chain seems like the least practical underwater weapon imaginable.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Is that The Loveland Frogman?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Am I the only one who wonders how Kermit got mutated?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nobody's safe when Disney owns your IP.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Oooohhh burn!

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