this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 70 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It appears to be the majority of Doctors most Americans can afford...

[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is not what I thought they meant when they said universal healthcare.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Child: Mom can we have universal healthcare? Mom: We have universal healthcare at home. The healthcare we have at home:

It’s easy, pick any doctor in your network.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Excuse me, my esteemed aerial cephalopod, but I don't see a doctor in front of your name. Those sodas didn't end up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt getting their doctorates to be dissed by you.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm far too modest to mention my 6 years at Harvard Medical School followed by a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins and, of course, my 134 published papers in medical journals.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins

I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins... It was me, Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering... And they were blazin' that shit up everyday!

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's really too bad Kroger discontinued "The Fizzicist".

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

That's a frustratingly good name too.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago

The bar for soda medical school is just so damn low.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Mr. PiBB dropped out of college

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

I didn’t go to college for eight years just to be called Mister Pepper

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Me trying to explain the backstory of Britain's longest-running sci-fi series

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Back in my soda drinking days, Dr. Thunder was pretty legit.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Moist Jesus

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (6 children)

You missed Professor Peppy.

I know there's probably more, but i feel like this one is important.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fucked up in the crib sippin dr perky

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Can you imagine if you went to the E.R. and were told your attending physician was Dr. Perky?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Friend of mine: 'Haven't been "Dr Perky" since my first kid.'

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

No thanks. I'll stick with my Bepis.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I respect any soda that puts in the time and effort to earn a doctorate degree. You know who I don't respect? Mr. Pibb, who can can take his undergrad ass and fuck right off.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Excuse me, but Pibb now identifies as Xtra, not Mr. I think we should respect their gender identity.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

All this and yet Mr. Pibb is a step too far.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Mom: Have you seen a Real Doctor yet?

Me: ......yes......

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Does Dr. Oetker make soda?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Dr Perfect

Ok buddy, chill out.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I'm not looking for Dr. Perfect, just Dr. Right.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Dr Perfect is the enemy of Dr Good Enough

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Best I can do is Dr Fine.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Leave Dr Shasta alone. That shit (and its variants) slaps.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Cream Soda Shasta in a half-can is a time machine that sends me to my grandparents house when I was 7.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

In the name of the Coke, the Pepper, and the Holy Sprite.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Not pictured: Dr. Smooth

(although it's been a long time - maybe they don't make this anymore?)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I want a Dr. Becker. I loved that show

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Becker was on for so long but a lot of people still never gave it a chance.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Is Dr. Perky a plastic surgeon?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Ha, Dr perky. Nice.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Meanwhile in the Netherlands: Meanwhile in the Netherlands:

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't see a Dr. Harleen Quinzel anywhere.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My favorite dumb Dr. name was "Dr. Furr's" from Furr's supermarkets in the 80s

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

My favorite knockoff was one called "Spritz Up"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I like Dr. Spice, no fucking around with them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Cool, now I'm on a quest to sample them all

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a former soda enthusiast I will always die on this hill. Dr. Pepper is Dr. Pepper. No, your Mr. Pibs and Dr. Thunders are not "basically the same thing," just give me a damn root beer instead!

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Dr PeePee when

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