this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 9 months ago (2 children)

From now until then you're invincible.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I've been saving an old toaster to try in the tub just for an occasion like this!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You could make so much money playing Russian roulette!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Now I'm starting to wonder if being in a coma for twenty years from a toaster/gun shot would still qualify as alive.

Dammit

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The 1950s sci-fi pulp author Fredric Brown wrote one of his (then) famous short-short stories about a man who came up with the serum for immortality and took it, but he had a cold at the time, and the germs also developed immortality and reproduced so much that his symptoms got worse and worse and eventually put him into a coma. After a while, his colleagues realized he'd never get out of the coma, so they just buried him.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

That's horrible. Thank you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And this is why we have GFCIs, folks

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Because there's immortals walking among us?

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, mine had a different date. Must just be a bug.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What is this "wrapped" thing everybody but me knows about?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Spotify gives you an overview of your listening activity every year with different stats, like top artists, top songs, which city your listening tastes match, etc.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

And Spotify tells people when they're going to die?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Yes but it is occasionally off by a second or two, what with free will and all.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

That's the joke part.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not gonna make it that long. Nice try.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hah, now there is nothing candlejack ca

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't get it. Who's Candleja

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

My favorite thing about this bit is that, after he gets you, he takes the time to submit the comment you were trying to write. Candlejack is really courteous like th

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Awww man, I don't wanna do this shit for another 20 years just to die.

Can we make it sooner?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Be the change you want to see in the world!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Where's the nearest bridge?

EDIT: for reasons, this is a joke.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

November 4, 2097...I'm gonna have a long life, it seems!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)

dang, Feb 23rd 2067 for me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

4.. 3.. 2.. 1

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Shit, that's my 82nd birthday. Make sure to send a gift on the 22nd that year.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Mine says "December 5th 2023"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Weird. Mine says "December 3rd 2023"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Mine says 1997. Just 1997.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Just doing a wellness check. Did you make it?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I don't think so... RIP eezeebee, they were like a father to us and we were like sons to them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Have a nice last day on earth, buddy.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

laughs in climate wars

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Imagine knowing that you'll live this long from now. Would be great

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

20 years ain't as long as you think it is. Especially if you're not even 30

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (5 children)

If someone could guarantee me that I would die 20 years from now I think I would take it. I would rather a guaranteed 20 years than a potential 40.

It would be great not having to worry about death for that long. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I sure hope I live past 66...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to steal my identity based on knowing my approximate age, so I'm not too concerned.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's what you think, P. Sherman at 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney, Australia!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ima die on my birthday? Man that sucks

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

It makes the math easier though

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Too optimistic to be real.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You can't tell me when I die! Only I get to decide when I die!

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Gross. I'd hate having to live an extra ~20 years.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

that's so long from now though

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