this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
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CBS News, hosting vice presidential candidates JD Vance and Tim Walz for the general election campaign’s third debate next week, says it will be up to the politicians — not the moderators — to check the facts of their opponents.

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[–] [email protected] 269 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So what the fuck do we need CBS for again?

[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 91 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Hey, let's get Stephen to do the live fact-checking!

[–] [email protected] 64 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Have two mods. Late Night Steven and Colbert Report Steven.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago

Fair and Unbalanced

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He did a live show after the Trump-Harris debate. Perhaps he’ll do another!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yep, he's planning on doing a live show right after the VP debate. He announced it on a recent episode.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If CBS suddenly disappeared, Colbert could go anywhere he wants I bet.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

No bet. Colbert would be juuuuust fine.

[–] [email protected] 227 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Heaven forbid journalists do... you know, their jobs?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago

We report what we want you to decide

[–] [email protected] 104 points 2 weeks ago

Weak.

C'mon, CBS. The ghost of Cronkite might have to visit you.

[–] [email protected] 91 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (12 children)

Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence. Walz is an adorable teddy bear with claws.

It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen, and we’ll all laugh about how the old guy from Minnesota made the dude wearing eyeliner get scared of giving trans school kids free lunches.

Edit: I can’t wait!

[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He's ok with pushing outright lies, and it's hard to keep up with all the right wing lies that are floating around. I hope Walz just starts calling them the liars they are instead of avoiding 'name calling'.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Vance isn’t much of a public speaker, and, up against a debate opponent like Walz (who is a great public speaker), Vance is pretty much fucked. He won’t have much of a defense but to pivot when confronted, and Walz is both clever and persistent. He’s also extremely charming, which Vance extremely isn’t, lol.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You’re making me look forward to it. Kinda. Let’s say I’m looking forward to the instant replays by the Daily Show.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Well, it’ll probably be more policy-focused than anything with Trump, which is always just a clown show because Trump only knows how to be a clown. Vance will, at least, try to debate Walz, but it will quickly just be a timed trading of canned campaign jabs. How each plays it will be interesting to see, and - personally - I think it will be fascinating for 3 reasons:

  1. again, Vance’s relative terribleness vs Walz’s very goodness will be awesome to watch. Walz will kick Vance’s ass easily

  2. more than that, this debate will be far more substantive than the last debate, which was, basically, Kamala baiting Trump into crazy-shouting one crazy lie after another while Kamala just laughed and laughed.

  3. Tim Walz is, quite possibly, the most lovable guy to ever exist. JD Vance is, quite possibly, a new form of venerial disease.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Extremists (hint: not Tim Walz) will be able to just spout lies the whole time, and rational, honest candidates: (hint: not JD Vance) will have to either let them get away with complete bullshit assertions, or spend part of their time doing the job of the moderators... This is why no one believes in Journalism these days...

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fucking cowards. We saw how quickly fascists crumble when you fact check them. Why won’t CBS want to do that?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

Because they want to help the fascist.

Something about ten dudes at a diner table with an eleventh who is a nazi.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 weeks ago

Bunch of weak ass bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

*CBS is announcing that it will allow the Couchfucker to Gish Gallop.

Fixed that title for you.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ya this is a dumb move by CBS because it compromises the legitimacy of the debate... But I know Tim Walz is going to wipe the floor with this couch fucker.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It compromises the legitimacy of CBS. How can they be okay with blatant lies being aspired on its network?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Remember when journalism was a respected profession?

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago

CBS is owned by Paramount Global who splits their "donations" between parties (heavier toward Democrats). Are we tired of being governed by corporations, yet?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"We just want the money, leave us the fuck out of this. We're a news corporation. What did you expect, integrity? Ha!"

-CBS

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Waltz: Vance I heard you fuck couches for fun.

Vance: NO I DON'T

Waltz: That's not proof. If you're gonna fact check me you gotta provide proof! Clearly you fucked couches!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Walz would be way more subtle than that.

hey. So glad you got off the damn couch.

And

Oh. Meant to ask you. How was the tour of Ashley Furniture? Find any attractive couches?

Edit:

didja get any good recipes from RFK?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Fucking candy asses. Call Kyle Clark. He will show those absolute wieners how it’s done.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So Walz will try to find the lies and Vance will claim everything is a lie since they can't stop him?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah, this system makes no sense. How are they supposed to fact check each other?

"That's a lie." "Not uh."

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Oh sure, tell the guy who basically said "We'll make up whatever facts we need to to get our point across!" when the whole pet eating debacle was debunked that he won't be fact checked... What could go wrong!?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Facts? Integrity? What the hell are you talking about? We need a ratings bump.

CBS executives, probably.

Anyway Walz is gonna eat Vance's face for dinner and then shit down his throat hole. I look forward to catching the highlights reel online.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Those were some of the best moments though! When the Linsey Davis (moderator) deadpan said, “There is no state in this country where it is legal to kill a baby after it’s born." I fell off my couch laughing at Trump. He didn't know what to do, he was like a fish out of water.

I guess the GOP made it a deal breaker for the VP debate.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

Would they really have the time to fact-check the gish-gallop Vance will ejaculate on them? That's just not even feasible to get through the more egregious lies. He already said he just makes shit up. This will be the largest public face-time he will ever have (hopefully) and it all but guarantees he will shamelessly dial the horseshit up, if not just for sound bites.

And yeah, I decided to use that word.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

Walz should just bring a fucking airhorn

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Awww the moderator’s hurt poor Donnie’s fee fees during the last debate.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Walz should quote Vance's statement about making things up and make the point that he will not be fact checking someone who is on record stating they will lie. Even make the minguistic point that while Vance said he'd "make stuff up" there is another word for that: "lie".

"So since my opponent has alresdy admitted they lie to reporters and about the price of eggs, I ask that the viewers tonight know that we can't trust anything he says is true. He has no credibility."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

So CBS news has zero integrity.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, so we're playing street ball now.

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