White men are EATING my CAR KEYS
this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
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No wait nevermind they were just between the couch cushions here. Haha that's so funny I don't know why I would assu- ... wait.... WHY IS THIS ON THE NEWS
Oh shit, car keys are fucking couches now??
No but JD Vance was visiting just a few hours earlier
It's Vance. You have any idea what's in the couch cushions?
Have you ever wondered why even keys not made from brass smell the way they do? And why they are often sticky? Vance! Get some help! Stop fucking our couches full of lost keys!
[email protected], your response?
Vance would. If it has a bench seat. Or maybe some like, plush conversion van benches.
My daughter lost her glasses yesterday. I sent out a massive email, text and social media blast blaming Haitian migrants for stealing and eating her glasses, but we found out 10 minutes later that they were under her bed.
Boy is my face red.
It's actually the French you need to watch out for in that case.
Monseur Mangetout! I remember a news special on him way back when he ate the Cessna.
Guinness World Records made him famous. He's also the only person from that book that I remember anything about.
I wonder why he decided to eat 15 shopping carts. Like, the point of it would be proven after, I don't know, 7?
I don't understand any of it, but I guess it got him a career.
The French have an unusual history in that regard though- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane
It's not an entirely lost (f)art. Jackass had a skit with a similar guy.
Yeah, but note that guy isn't a big celebrity.
Yeah well, I think a lot of people can actually do that. It's rough times for fartists.
Where's the cat?
Check the house?
Nope it's dem immigrants
This article is ridiculous It looks like I need to start bookmarking sources to R-antics again for when his bs gets rugswept again and all the Republicans get on board.
Fuuuu
But it’s not just that one story. Vance has tried to claim he has a mountain of “evidence” that migrants are eating cats, dogs, and geese from local parks. And they all turn out to be garbage. NBC News talked with a woman in Springfield, Erika Lee, who was behind one of the Facebook posts that far-right influencers elevated online before Vance really kicked it into high gear. It turns out Lee’s post was based on something she’d heard from “an acquaintance of a friend” and that she had no first-hand knowledge of anything like that happening
I have a load of evidence, but also, I lied about this, and I'll do it again!
It's journalistic malpractice, materially supporting fascism, and publishing actual Nazi-tier racist tropes to uncritically report Vance's statements when he was so obviously lying, has unapologetically admitted he was lying, said he'd lie about this and similar racist bullshit again.
The media is paving the way for an end to us democracy, and a series of genocides for fucking clicks. Fucking ghouls.
But Trump saw it on TV, therefore it's true!
He sounded so pathetic trying to rebut with that.
But the infuriating thing is the election is still dangerously close!
It's amazing how effective the right-wing media ecosphere is at protecting their candidates. Somehow they can take Trump ranting like a lunatic about immigrants eating cats - and then convince their supporters that it only happened because Kamala had secret spy earrings and the moderators were in kahoots with her.
Lol I forgot he said that. Jesus Christian what a shameful display
At this stage, there should be some democrat comedy TV program with guys in dumb and dumber tuxedos spouting the weirdest things about republicans. Things like the Trump signs in the front yard contain a camera and act as a 5G antenna.
So pull the thread. She heads if from a friend, let's go ask the friend.. and so forth. Someone unwilling to name their source is the origin. Let's find patient 0.
A different outlet did. The racist Lee who posted the cat thread said it was from "my neighbors daughters friend."
A fact check org interviewed the neighbor, and she said Lee was mistaken, and it was actually "a friends acquaintance." So yeah, right off it became way more ambiguous.
The other issue though is that in her racist tirade, Lee didn't just mention a cat. She also said geese/ducks had gone missing from the parks, and said she confirmed that with park rangers and police. She of course had not.
Most likely these two idiots got together, her and her neighbor, and each one ginned up part of the story, maybe literally. Then Lee posted it and "inadvertently" created a dangerously racist shitshow for her city and nation.
Immigrants are stealing and eating all the women who want to date me! This totally makes sense why I'm still single!!!???
Sir, I'm gonna have to inspect your basement.
Why would you want to see where they live...? Nothing of human value is in there
Read his comment. Then read the post's title. Then read his comment again.
Something of literally human value may be in his basement.
Joke ->
Head
This one is more believable because it's harder to prove. They should have went with this story instead.
I see no flaw in that logic.
"Oopsies! Sorry for that mistake - and for the torrent of racial hatred that followed."
The stochastic terrorism playbook.
Soon:
Cats are majority brown, gray, orange, black, and (gasp) mixed. They're lying immigrants, decimating the white mice of this land.
But I thought there were no cats in America?
Oh so the entirety of American political discourse over the last 2 weeks was based on something totally made up, wasting everyone's time and actively making the electorate dumber?
I can't believe anyone took him seriously, it was such a "lol wat is he doing" moment and it's spiraled out of control
Slightly longer than that.
The very basement where they run their child prostitution ring, no doubt!
America is eating itself. They should report on that.
BDSM.... even cats love it! 😂
one cat's nip is another cat's jazz