this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Plot twist, you bring covid with you

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 days ago

Incredibly probable

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

I need a writing prompt sub/community to get right on this one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

Maybe also an evolved strain of the pandemic h1n1 virus. And more evolved versions of other viruses, too. That covid will be more evolved than the original pandemic strain, also. It'll have the transmission increases and immunity avoidance while in the novel virus stage, so going back to warn about covid could instead make it happen earlier and much worse (instead of just earlier). Plus all the other pandemics on top of that, and in a time that is much less ready to pivot office work to wfh.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yes hi I'd like to buy a bus ticket to Cincinatti, also where can I find a bulletproof vest that will fit a gorilla?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Just stop the dumbass kid from climbing over the railing. No vest needed.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Stop the dumbass mom from letting her toddler wander off by himself right next to a fucking gorilla enclosure

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

Stop the designers of the enclosure from not making it toddler proof.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

ooo self drawn very nice

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

I am Iron Man

[–] [email protected] 102 points 1 week ago (7 children)

If you went back and warned everyone about 9/11 the day before, you'd be locked up in gitmo for decades.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

You could walk in there and pull the fire alarm

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I think you need to take the same approach as the British during WW2 with the Enigma. They could decrypt the messages and know when attacks would happen, but if they stopped every attack, the Nazis would know and change encryption device. So you need to accept that some people will die and only mitigate the disaster in small but impactful ways.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Like taking out seth macfarlane on a drinking bender on September 10th?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Yes.. Something like that..

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I have 8 years to prepare to mine Bitcoin.

Also I can start making a name for myself as a prophet

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Fuck that. Start mining. Don't say a fucking word to anyone. Don't go overboard on mining. Or if you do, use it/sell some of it early. The only reason bitcoin became popular is because people used it to buy stuff. If you start talking about how it's gonna be worth 80,000 in 10 years you run the risk that more people will hoard it and it won't be worth shit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago

How about I just open a pizza shop near where it all started and take Bitcoin?

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Time travelling scientists warned us about climate change almost a century ago and here we are.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

What if it worked. What if like dr.stranges 1/14million chances. This is the least caustic one.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (2 children)

inhales sharply

Don't violate causality, don't violate causality

Don't tell them about the event

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

meme character enters CDC office

Holds up one finger while channeling a spell with the other - to signal the 1 in 59 million futures or whatever

Everyone just stares weirdly because no one's seen Iron Man let alone Endgame

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

I'm gonna cause a time paradox harder now.

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