this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The Bronze Age got its name from all the bronzer people used to show off their gains.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Bronze Age collapse happened when they ran out of cinnamon to make bronzer

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I knew the whole "sea people" thing was bunk. No one could ever even tell me where they came from.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Raiders probably from viking lands?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

After that came that stuff with the lazer raptors in the viking age

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Kung Fury really is a great documentary about that topic!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

It really is. I just wish Hackerman didn't hack all Nintendo Power Gloves out of existence. We could have visited those times!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The vast majority of the population were slaves, who had to be well-muscled to lift heavy stones to build all those beaux-arts star forts of the Tartarian Empire. Then there were the barbarian warriors, who needed the musculature to effectively wield a zweihänder. If you saw a skinny dude, chances are he was an evil wizard.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I assumed they all had Annunaki personal trainers.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pronounced pectorals came with the invention of the bench press I am pretty sure. They could be yoked for sure but likely not like that

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Back then they couldn’t pump iron, had to pump bronze.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

The bronze was discovered during research into more efficient gym machines.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Of course, they were all on the paleo diet!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I'm convinced that's a promotional image from Conan Exiles and I won't hear any dissenting opinions.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I mean... How inaccurate is this, really?

I mean, the Neolithic period got people farming I guess, but it's a tough sell.

Is the issue that the folks are in anachronistic clothing and have gym bodies instead of working bodies?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It's basically ignoring at least 4,000 years of human civilization prior to that. The stone age is generally when people start talking about the origins of humans, despite us existing for a couple hundred thousand years prior to that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I suppose I'm not conflating "rise" with "genesis". Human organizational structure was slow to ramp up and I don't think the bronze age is a terrible place to draw a line and say "this is where things start to heat up".

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Drawing that line there allows one to claim that Native Americans and other indigenous cultures aren't "real" civilizations, and therefore their citizens aren't "real people," depending of course on the level of bigotry and conservative/religious ideology that one is promoting.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

The biggest issue I see here is a man with clearly a great enough surplus of food to bulk. That wasn't happening unless you had access to a large farming community supporting you at the expense of most others and at least a rudimentary knowledge of nutrition.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

This is a good time to plug a book: 1177 B.C.: The Year Civilization Collapsed: Revised and Updated (Turning Points in Ancient History)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

YEAH I KNOW HIM. HE PLAYS FOR THE LAKERS RIGHT