this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 98 points 3 months ago (9 children)

Keep in mind that Jesse Ventura is himself a crazy conspiracy theorist that borders on being detached from reality. He is on a completely different branch of the cray cray tree than Donald Trump, but they're both crazy.

Taking sides in a Ventura vs. Trump feud is like taking sides in an argument between two mental patients over who's president of Jupiter.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I agree that Jesse Ventura is an unhinged loon, but I have to give my proper respects to that Jesse Ventura is an unhinged loon with strong moral convictions. He believes racism is wrong, that gay marriage should be legal, and that we should see eachother for who we really are instead of hiding behind manufactured machismo (which is such a fucking wild stance for a professional wrestler). I don't think Jesse Ventura is a hero, because he's too detached from reality to be one, but I do think he knows a when someone is like Donald Trump, Pat Buchanan, or David Duke is completely morally bankrupt, and for that I respect him.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He shot down alex jones about people crossing the border and using social programs they shouldnt by brining up that it's really the fault of the system for being broken and not the people for using every tool they are given

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

This is what I mean. The core values at the center of Jesse Ventura are good ones, and he doesn't let people bully others. He also believes some really weird shit is true that isn't. But like. Man. He'd be a really good person to run around town with. He'd always take the right side on the big issues and when you're drinking or getting high he'd say some shit that would be really fun to talk about even if you're taking it less serious than him. But he's at his core not someone to follow. But I'll grant him the title of "someone to emulate." You can bring his brand of strong willed kindness to your conception if what it means to operate in America. He's someone who understands the broad strokes of what's going on and what people are about. If you grew up watching Jesse Ventura and thought he was really cool: I have good news. You're right. Its my official stance thay Jesse Ventura is really cool

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (3 children)

taking sides in an argument between two mental patients over who’s president of Jupiter.

It's stupid to take sides in that argument because everyone knows I'm the president of Jupiter

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Excuse me but I didn't vote for you.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You don't vote for president of Jupiter

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It’s an autonomous collective.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Now we see the violence inherit in the solar system!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Jupiter

~~repressed~~ compressed

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

#NotMyCollective

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

What did i vote for them?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Excuse me, but the Jupiter Charter of 1982 clearly states in section 1 that I am, by a unanimous vote of the people of Jupiter, president for life.

Before that, the entire population of Jupiter was officially zero. So I decided to vote myself as President of Jupiter, along with chief justice of the Jupiter Supreme Court, and every other government position of Jupiter. When I wrote the Jupiter Charter, I did it with a vision that the people of Jupiter would from there on self-govern and make their own choices. So I added a clause saying that only natural-born citizens of Jupiter, who are physically on Jupiter on election day, can vote for anything. So until there are at least two people physically on Jupiter and able to vote me out, I am and will remain the president of Jupiter.

My inauguration speech, and our national anthem for your reference.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a President-in-exile of the duly elected Senate of Jupiter, I hereby impeach you for sedition and treason.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I think I need to let you know about the last time someone tried that. See, they tried to impeach me when I was president of Saturn and tried to have me impeached from exile on one of Saturn's moons. So I blew up the whole moon. Where do you think those rings came from? When you have Presidential immunity, you can commit moonicide like that and not lose any votes. It's where the Supreme Court got the idea for their latest ruling.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

#NotMyPresident

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago

Ventura tried to unionize wrestlers and was snitched on by Hulk Hogan. People I've talked to said he was an okay governor. Ventura is a weird guy but unlike Trump the dude has a heart.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

None of this, however, disputes or refutes Jesse’s factual statement of Trump being a huge chickenshit coward and draft dodger— who has completely abused the freedom others have provided.

Facts are facts.

I always marvel at Dotard Don’s ability to play so much fucking golf with “bone spurs” that also, when it was convenient, somehow prevented him from serving.

#DraftDodgeDonald

🐔🐓🐔

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

None of this, however, disputes or refutes Jesse’s factual statement of Trump being a huge chickenshit coward and draft dodger— who has completely abused the freedom others have provided.

Facts are facts.

This is 100% correct. I just wanted to point out that Ventura also has a few screws loose. He can be (and in this case, is) both crazy and correct.

I always marvel at Dotard Don’s ability to play so much fucking golf with “bone spurs” that also, when it was convenient, somehow prevented him from serving.

hahaahahahahaha, like the man walks all 18 holes. Or walks at all. The man gets his fat ass carried around in a golf cart, and makes one of his suckups be his caddy, He's been known as a cheater in golf for decades. You could tell me that he doesn't even bother to actually swing the golf club at all, and I'd believe it. Hell, I'd put 2:1 odds down that says he doesn't even play all 18 holes and skips the tough ones.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He’s been known as a cheater in golf for decades

That's the funniest thing though... someone as "rich" and connected as he claims to be, he could have every single masters champion for the last 50 years give him personal lessons at his private golf courses. But instead, he plays multiple times per week and still cheats, and still is pretty mid at golf.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Taking lessons would require showing humility and admitting he isn't already naturally the best at something.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

🍻 Prost!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

There is no president, it's run by the Jupiter Mining Corporation.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

My daughter asked me who he was and I said, imagine a politician that says something like "every citizen of this nation deserves to have healthcare, and it shouldn't matter what their financial situation is. Everyone deserves healthcare and a living wage, except those lizard people who disguise themselves as Americans, but are actually subterranean terrorists who are trying to control the world with mind control lasers"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I'm on Jesse's side and I don't care. We're lucky the Republicans are dumbasses because he actually would have siphoned votes from Harris as a spoiler candidate instead of RFK.

Jesse's unironically based as hell, he's just rightly suspicious of for profit healthcare and the US government.

https://www.ontheissues.org/Jesse_Ventura.htm

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

No one has to take sides, since only one of them is running for President.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I would rather hear more about Jupiter's presidents than this shitshow

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (2 children)

God damn sexual tyrannosaurs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

...just like me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

he an't got time to bleed....

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Tax Dodger.

Impeachment Dodger.

Accountability Dodger.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

One of the best dodgers, everyone is saying it, very large men with even bigger tears in their eyes are saying it to me on the street

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I want to see Donald Trump claim to be a better dodger than Shohei Ohtani

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

But can he dodge a wrench?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Man I thought that was Huey Lewis until I read the headline

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So he was Huey Lewis until you read The News? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

So close, yet so far from making this same joke 😂

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Fucking nailed it. I couldn't figure out who he looked like.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Like Tom Selleck, the man just really NEEDS a moustache to look right.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Is this uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh captain freedom are you ready for pain, are you ready for suffering if the answer’s yes you’re ready for captain freedom’s workout?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

This is bigger than people will make it out to be… and not because Ventura will sway voters but because his statement and sentiment is likely emblematic of a lot of men like him.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I was chuckling through that interview. He just didn't know when to stop. Starts out defending Walz and calling out Vance for criticising a fellow veteran, then swings into supporting Harris because he says he wants to be alive to witness the first female president because it's about damn time... and you're thinking, damn...good man. good guy.

And then goes off the rails about god knows what...

Dude...know when to quit. You were doing so well.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Ventura wasn’t a good governor. Too many CTEs from his pro wrestler days.

He wasn’t the worst governor in recent history, it that’s just because his successor was actually competent. (And pawlenty is an asshole.)

Ventura had no party base in the state legislature, so none of his good”agenda (like protecting gay rights,) got done.

His tax rebates saddled Minnesota with the largest budget deficit on record and teed up Pawlenty’s budget cuts

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I’ll take it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've got a silo full of tortillas in the BAJA

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I built a deck that doesn't have Y beams.

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