this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
321 points (99.4% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

6584 readers
254 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 61 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You missed a weak point: Pilots are susceptible to damage from having a shovel firmly whacked in their faces.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Would you care to share my toasted cheese sandwich?"

SPANG

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I'm enjoying a succulent Chinese meal, Z.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 months ago (3 children)

There's a grate on the intakes.

They can claim they built them for radar reasons, but we know it was to keep shovels out.

Please get your act together this proposal is silly.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We move to hand spades then?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hmm. Small measuring spoons?

Advanced tactics: forgo dirt, just dump in a bin of carefully-oriented 1/4 teaspoon measures.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Use powdered milk, it gets everywhere and sticks to everything. Very hydrophilic, rust city USA

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And if you have extra, makes for a delicious drink on the way home.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Powdered whole milk in hot tea is magic! Maximum tea, minimizes dilution. I'm assuming, of course, that you are in a Challenger.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Seems like a perfect job for some long metal sticks. Time to bring back the javelin!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Will that fit an MRE spoon?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Pitchforks it is, then.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You need a missile strike first on the grate, then you can throw the shovel

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How ya gonna do that? It's stelf

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I suppose that's why he's using dirt instead of the entire shovel.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago

I assume this guide is for engaging the F-117 in midair hand-to-hand combat after you've leapt aboard. But in that case, where are you supposed to get dirt? Bring it with you, like some kind of peasant?? Just use your sword like a normal ninja.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I mean, technically ANYTHING shoveled into the air intakes ruins the engines. ;)

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If you can shovel air, it's probably too thick. ;)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Source: sci-fi short story, "A Pailful of Air".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I did not expect to see that referenced today. It seems like pretty obscure old sci-fi to me, but I guess I found it once somehow.

I should do napkin calculations on how many blankets they'd actually need to get an airtight-ish space at breathable pressure.

Edit: Honestly just an airlock shouldn't have been too hard, seeing as leaking atmosphere was no issue. Seal it up, crack a little valve on the side you're going towards. Every blanket scheme I can think of is just a shittier version of that.

Just as a sealant for structural gaps I imagine blankets would be impermeable with a bit of coal tar added, but maybe I can do some math for unimproved blankets.

The story actually specifies 30 blankets, on a double-check. There's science now known to be bad elsewhere, but it's all excusable considering when the story was written. Ditto for the weird gender dynamics.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh man I haven’t thought about that story in ages!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

There was a fantastic radio adaptation of it in the 1950s, can't remember which show.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Nah, just really really cold.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Depends on how much of it

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

The shovel is clearly OP it will be nerfed in the next patch.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Jeeesus, that's gold right there!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Can't believe they didn't mention dinging the air speed sensors, smh my head.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Into the intake? But that hole's no bigger than a womp rat!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Everything checks out. Pretty standard stuff, really. Shovel to air defense has been around since at least the '80s, and that's just the ones the government wants you to know about.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

How did I end up on the Warthunder forums?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'd love to see you use a shovel to fling dirt 40,000 ft.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Gimme a ~$112 million budget and I'll at least get it a few feet closer. No promises, though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I can certainly promise I'll use that budget to the fullest.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Hole with nuke on the bottom, spade blocking the hole entrance

Spend the rest on booze and bbq

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Nobody:

Absolutely nobody:

The ghost of Sam Hughes: Okay but have you considered

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

This post reminded me of the saga of tanya the evil. Her and the company of soldiers used their trench shovels to smash heads in quite a few times.