this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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I'm visiting extended family for the first time in a long time, and one of my nieces has reached the impressionable age where she keeps mimicking things that she sees me do. what's a really funny but fairly harmless thing I should teach her to do?

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[–] [email protected] 140 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It'd be hilarious if you taught her how to code Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago

Hey this might make her millions in the future

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Flicking your cheek just right to make the water drop noise

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This is evil

donkey makes popping noise

(not exactly the same noise but can be used to the same effect)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

OP, do this one

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 months ago (2 children)

On a vacation when I was a teenager I taught my younger sibling the "SYN/ACK" game.

They still remember the TCP stack handshake protocol including resets and acks years later.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Lol, kid will sniff packets next

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

What kind of game is this? Never heard of it

[–] [email protected] 66 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My niece and nephew loved the β€œthis guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 months ago

Teach her to order something off a foreign-language menu, invite the family out to dinner, and see if she can place her order fluently.

Doing the "Five year old white girl shocks waitress by ordering Orange Chicken in perfect Mandarian" bit IRL would be pretty funny and adorable.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've thought my niece that policemen go "oink oink" and that pigs go "You have the right to remain silent!"

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)

Lockpicking

Using Linux

Media piracy

Feeding the homeless

Wheatpasting / graffiti

Political theory

Shoplifting from corporate chains

First Aid

Legal observation

Black bloc tactics

Guerilla gardening

Spotting plainclothes cops / informants

Dialectical Materialism

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Idk about some of these given the age bracket, but Spot the Fed is fun for the whole family.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

She could configure linux from scratch

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 months ago
  • Beatboxing. "Boots and cats and boots and cats"-style.
  • The pulling your thumb off trick.
  • The Macarena.
  • "The Game". ("You just lost The Game.")
  • Chopsticks on the piano/keyboard/toy xylophone/etc.
  • "The Name Game."
[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Then once they got it just right, let them sing it all week.

Once the week goes by .... teach them 99 bottles of pop on the wall

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people "One time, at band camp...I stuck a flute in my..." *long pause* "nose".

And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago (2 children)

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"CHICKEN BUTT!"

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Teach her how she can insert "apparently" into every statement.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My 8 year old starts almost every sentence with "By the way."

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago (4 children)

If she's the right age, Teach her The Game. It's a brain virus game.

Rule number 1 of The Game, you can not think about The Game. When you think about The Game you lose.

Rule number 2, when you think of The Game you have to say that you've lost The Game. Ideally loudly and publicly.

Rule number 3, after losing the game you get 30 minutes grace period to stop thinking about it before The Game starts again.

Rule number 4, once you have learned about the game you may either play the game or cheat.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Dangit. It's been years. You flipping flipper.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago

I taught my niece to say "I can't work like this!". That was fun!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I taught my kid to say "mom drinks beer for breakfast" as soon as she could talk. Wasn't that popular with the family xD

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Alternatively - hand farts for the times it's too hot to want to stick a hand in your armpit lol

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Seconding hand farts. I've never seen anyone wash their hands after doing armpit farts.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago

How to tie her shoes the instant/quick way. She'll be the coolest kid to all her peers and even amaze other parents who witness it...

https://youtu.be/Q5qZpQe_4EA?si=6fPhLyHs5BwJoaoA

(I have no affiliation with that channel it was just the first thing that came up when I searched)

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

End every other sentence with ~ nya ~

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

The Macarena and/or the YMCA dance, it's fun for kids to do over and over but harmless.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The drums.

Or a less chaotic-evil suggestion, that water-drop sound made by flicking your cheek.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

I have had pretty good luck with doing

High five Up high Down low Too slow

My nephew would just let me do it forever, always trying to beat me on the too slow bit.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

I taught my 18 month year old niece the sound a dinosaur makes. ROOOOOOOAAAR

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Give her some unconventional future career ideas. Non-edgy ones, of course. I think it would be pretty funny if after a visit from an uncle your kid was talking about sailing knots or embalming procedures or something.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

i decided to let her watch Smackdown with me. we'll see what she picks up as a surprise for mom & dad

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Pull my finger.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Teach her to take a drink and then smack her lips and say, β€œahhh”.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Juggling ? beginning with two balls is fairly easy and is a slippery gateway to more balls

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Do something that will confuse her parents a ton. Like tell her that every time she wants something, she has to touch her nose three times then say the thing. Demonstrate it a lot to drill it in.

taps nose three times... COOKIES

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

That it's pronounced heliclopter and not helicopter.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

Helico-pter

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Poker. And proper bluffing.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

We got my niece to speak a little Klingon.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Gang signs.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Tell her a fun fact, in your best science teacher tone. It takes one billion microseconds to get to one second. Hopefully she can run with this and ask more questions.

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