this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
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top 16 comments
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Okay but would you rather choke to death on a gummy bear, or a gummy man?

Checkmate, Haribros

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Died with their flesh in my moutb

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

Always knew he'd die with one or more bears inside him.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

He didn't die, he just thought he was dead

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Permanently relocated to a higher plane of existence.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Okay, but are gummy bears included in the pool of "random bear" for the woods encounter? Would that mean teddy bears are too? Then we'd have to consider gingerbread men, snowmen, etc. for the "random man" pool. This whole situation is becoming less threatening the more I think about it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Snowmen are spooky. I saw this one Norwegian documentary about a serial killer who used them as his calling card. The editing was truly horrific. I think it was called The Snowman Who Couldn't Slow Down

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I thought the whole point was that the bear in any form was already less threatening than a man.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Cause of death: (guts) ripped apart by (catastrophic diarrhea caused by eating too many gummy) bears

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Do you think a real bear wouldn't rip apart your (guts)?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Not me. I'm going out like Elvis.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Fun fact: in 1987 a young boy was killed and partially eaten by polar bears at a zoo in Brooklyn after he and two other children snuck into the enclosure. Donald Trump offered to pay for his funeral but then reneged.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

And if you choke to death while eating gummy worms then people will say you had brain worms.