this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Me: "There should be a Boy Scouts for adults."

Me, 3 seconds later: "Oh yeah. Military..."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

As a life long boy scout (cub scouts through eagle scout) and as a navy veteran, I feel qualified to tell you the military is definitely not adults boyscouts.

The military is more like that game you hear about high school dudes playing in the locker room, where everyone Jerks off on a cooki, but the last to cum has to eat the cookie. That's basically exactly what the military is like. If you aren't a big enough jerkoff, you get the cookie. Everyone around you is always jerking off. And all you do is think about how much you don't want to be the one eating that cookie.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Oh no... I guess I have to eat the cookie again." - My gay ass

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Lmao.

🎵IN THE NAVY🎶

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Cut out the cookie...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

that sounds like something a seaman would say

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Hey now I was an airman, not a seaman. We get testee about that lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

George first taught the Army the Cookie Doctrine at Valley Forge, but then their dicks started to freeze and break off

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Armies didn't exist before George Washington

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

ours didn't

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Then there is "hurry up and wait". "Everyone has to cum on the cookie by 5am but stare at it until 2pm."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Icky cookie?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I just want a NOLS type thing for adults instead of just teens.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Question: are potatoes a vegetable. If so, do I get that badge if I eat French fries?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

culinary terms are pretty arbitrary but when a dietician extolls eating vegetables they're not talking about starches like potatoes and corn

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

So you’re saying that potatoes aren’t really a vegetable, so it’s a bit of a starch to count them as such in your diet?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Yes. Approved by me.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Would actually be down to have these on a denim jacket or something

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Be the change you want to see

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We don't need no stinking badges!

(Just in case: not hate, just a possibly obscure reference)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre or Blazing Saddles?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yep, Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

These unlock the trophy hunter in me.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I'd like to introduce you to Geocaching

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

If somebody actually wants merit badges, the Rebel Badge Club exists.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

This is what video game achievements are for. They give adults the feedback life usually doesn't give.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Well this is depressing AF. I think I need to pay my bills now and do other mind-numbingly boring and mundane tasks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I would enjoy shows a lot more if I could stop at just 1 episode.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'd never get that Netflix badge.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I will get the bottom left and right badges one day, I swear.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Very good meme! I likey very much.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The "ate a vegetable" is more of a kids badge, though. Adults generally like vegetables more than kids and choose to eat them more often.

I feel like this was made by some 'murican whale that only eats fast food and drinks soda.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm an adult, I'm not American, I don't only eat fast food or only drink soda, but I do hate vegetables.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Same, am whale. Plankton ftw.