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You're missing the point. If you conflate abortion and murder, you're either being willfully ignorant or exceedingly simple. Just because some people equate two things, doesn't make them the same in reality. Whether you like it or not they are different, and applying the same standards to them makes no sense.
Your argument is like saying "Advil and heroin are both pain relieving drugs, so the law should apply equally." They are not the same, and we should not treat them the same, even if some people mistakenly equate them.
I completely agree. This is a much better argument to make. For example, I generally concede that abortion = killing, but not murder. In the same way that killing a person is justified (for example, self-defense applies here), sometimes it's justified to have an abortion, even if that is killing a baby. And because it involves such personal, sometimes traumatic territory, that should be between you and your doctor only.
But that's a different argument than what you began with.