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Don't overthink it. Minecraft. Vanilla survival world. Don't try to optimize and automate everything (unless you find that relaxing). Make your farm look like a farm. Mine until until your inventory is full. Build towards an Ender Dragon or Wither fight if you have time. Go mining or fishing or do base chores or a beautification project if you don't.
I tried Minecraft way back, so maybe it's changed, but I don't do to well in setting my own goals in a game. I liked Subnautica because there was an interesting story element and mystery that kept you engaged as you moved towards your goal of getting off planet. In the process of reaching the goal, yeah, I wanna make my base look nice, wanna build some cool things, but my overall actions were still being compelled by the storytelling and world-building of the game. I don't see those elements in Minecraft but again, it's been a long time since I played.
Modpacks with a good quest line might be something you're into
The two big boss fights are the closest thing to a "goal," but yeah, even in survival mode I guess it's as much lego as it is video game. In your case, maybe a Bethesda game but focusing on side and companion quests until you're so overpowered that wrapping up the main plot will feel like one more.
You sound like me. I don’t do well with sandbox games, I like a story related objective to work towards. Subnautica and Outre Wilds are also both favorites of mine. I also think a great chill game is Forza Horizon 4 or 5. Driving around the open world with changing time of day and popping into different events is so relaxing to me, especially if I mute the in-game radio and play some Spotify instead. My only regret is I bought it through the Microsoft Xbox app (to keep my progress I made during a Game Pass free trial) and now I can’t play it on my Steam Deck.
I used to love doing a weird automated laboratory under my classic farm, but yeah it did suck out the fun once I could reliably do it again and again.
I used to specifically farm the ingredients for pumpkin pie, this was just after hoppers and repeaters were added which meant you could use those and pistons to make an automatic egg collector, sugare cane breaker and pumpkin breaker. I'd build the most picturesque farm with a secret trapdoor somewhere that would lead to my food automation zone. I haven't really played properly since 2017 though, with a brief comeback in 2020.
Automation is really fun with mods. They are kind of like puzzles and I chill out thinking about them.
In the right mood, I like setting things up and tweaking them, but I don't find it "chill". If I fire up Minecraft to chill, I usually think of it almost like a model railroad or something, occasionally it literally is a virtual model railroad if I want to build nether transit or something. I also find it satisfying to fill in that last patch of a map and put a copy of it on a wall next to its mates. It is very satisfying to get that auto smelter or adjustable enchanting room just right, though, and I can easily see that stuff being a goal in its own right.
What I find brilliant about the concept of Minecraft is the way it hits a sweet spot of being just complex enough to be immersive, but abstract and simplified enough that the open world is actually open and rewards a hundred different play styles.