this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Well when men keep hearing “don’t approach us”, we shouldn’t be shocked when men don’t approach people.
Step 1- be attractive.
Step 2 - don't be unattractive.
I'm at 0/2 so far are there any more steps?
Get a dog or cat or both.
Step 3 - Repeat Step 1.
Be rich
Just be funny and not a piece of shit. My wife is so gorgeous, people immediately know I have a good sense of humor and I’m supportive. I’m certainly not rich.
Granted, this is not a good approach for the apps. You need to be able to sell yourself in person. Best dating strategy in this case is making many friends, and some of them will be charmed into attraction. If I were dating, speed dating would probably be workable for this approach.
Repeat until you get a date.
Being attractive helps a lot. Obviously. But you can put effort into your appearance. More than anything your personality is the thing that will get you a date.
Having tried Tinder 12 years ago, once, around the time I became an adult, why you'd choose it over asking people out in real life is beyond me. Especially if you're not very attractive.
The meta is all off haha
If there is one thing the internet has overwhelmingly seceded at it's convincing people that looks are absolutely everything. A lot of people I know tend to take their dating app experience as solid evidence of their romantic inaptitude. Even when it's all too well known they are scams designed to keep you on their platform for as long as possible.
I know that preaching about stepping up to women may feel like the same way as saying: "Just be attractive, bro." And if it does, to that I say: Do it and practise it for the sake of it. "That looks like a nice person, let's find out what they're about, for no damn reason at all."
Anyway, my two cents. And if it helps whenever you're scared of striking up a conversation just keep in mind: "The alternative is dating apps."
At the same time, lots of men are really shitty when they "approach" women.
"Don't approach us" is a response to men's behaviour, not the other way around.
So yeah don't approach women, got it.
Very incel-y, but sure.
Or, you could take it as a statement with the subtext that it clearly has, which is "dont approach us if youre going to be an asshole."
If you would rather stew in bitterness than adjust to the above, the first option is likely better for everyone.
I think if women meant that they would say it instead of "never approach women"
Blaming men for listening to women is some new level of crazy
Your inability to understand nuance might be part of the problem. Having to explain every single exception spelled out literally takes too long to get the guy acting creepy away from them.
You haven't explained anything, you just keep shitting out the same response hoping you'll shame me into going away.
Yeah, because you're drowning in self-pity instead of understanding that men are the problem in the vast majority of cases. You're bitching around instead, that's typical incel behavior.
You can go up to a woman and flirt with her - just don't be an asshole and accept a "no" without crying or further harassing her ;) It's really not hard. Most appreciate it.
;)
So option 1 I guess.
Way to be mad at 4 billion people because you dont want to be a decent human being.
Cry me a river. I've never heard a women say "don't approach me", but I've heard many say "don't be a douche" and "stop thinking you're a fucking victim".
You already forgot the bear in the woods?
Apparently you already forgot their reasoning behind it. A bear is a known quantity. Humans can lie to gain your trust, then turn on you. They weren't saying all men are bad, they were saying that meeting a stand man alone in the woods - you have no idea how this person will act.
IDK women are not scared of me. Maybe the problem is you? Maybe you're not the victim you think you are and you're just an ass?
These guys are forgetting that you were the only man that they would prefer over the bear.
Congratulations
Geez you incels are stupid. Between victims like you and wannabe "alpha males" who wanna jerk one another, I agree mens are now a bunch of losers who wont ever get laid.
Get ratiod incel
I thought about it and you're right, you're a victim. Women are bad, just don't approach them and find other dudes likes you to hang out. Good luck.
I've been in a loving relationship with my partner for 8 years.
I am trying to help bring perspective to incels like you.
A more equal dating landscape means more equal relationships, and overall that's a good thing in the long run.
Women are still learning that if they tell men to not approach them they need to start asking men out if they want relationships instead of whining on the internet.
No longer can women just sit around and wait for a relationship to fall in their lap, and no amount of rage baiting is going to change that. Grow a spine and ask someone out for a change, according to you it's easy.
Wooow, impressive.
I hope you partner enjoys mansplaining lol. Is she aware she's in a "loving relationship" with you? If you paid any attention to this post and the internet in general, you might notice that it's men who are whining all day long, not women lol.
BTW, I actually been married ten years and had plenty of other serious and casual relationship.
There's no pathetic insult you can throw that will stick incel
I'm not incel you're an incel lol.
No u
Celui qui le dit celui qui l'est, fasciste
So you're a pathetically tiny and weak man let, or you're just unaware of the feelings of women?
You're not a man, you're a victim lol. Get use to porn.
The fact that yall are still this mad about this just proves that the entire point behind the thought experiment is right.
The bear metaphor was obviously thinly veiled racism/xenophobia from the start. Lots of conservative/moderate women who are terrified of anyone who isn't white or who is "illegal"
That's...just no. Wtf? No.
Source: I've actually listened to women, in person, describe their reasoning, instead of making up my own justification for something like the incel community decided to do.
The goal was to increase fear of the "other" - which is a classic right wing tactic.
The bear meme was a conservative astroturfed campaign to push people right - which is why it appeared shortly before the 2024 US elections
This is very tinfoil hatty
No it isn't, it's literally what astroturfing is and how public relations campaigns are run. I know people who literally do shit like this for a living
Doesn't mean the original meme was created by an agency necessarily, but it certainly was boosted and amplified by conservatives to spark anger against PoCs/immigrants, and to build intergender resentment amongst men. Which worked wonderfully for Trump, as is evidenced by his strong performance with Gen Z men
No, the uniformed idiotic women hating fake rationalization you can see continuing throughout this very thread may have been spread to the Andrew Tate following incel crowd to further stoke their anger. But that's them capitalizing on their gullibility and refusal to speak to actual women about why they feel that way.
You probably said this thing was STARTED as a racist othering campaign. That's very different from someone trying to CHANGE an already existing narrative to suit their own ends. And none of those narratives were ever about race, it was always a gender thing.
If you asked people to describe the skin color of the "man", i very much doubt most of them were thinking of a white man.
A white male Connecticut suburbanite isn't what is being thought of in their minds eye - it's a "thug" or an "illegal". Because the meme is racist, and anti-male sentiments manifest via violence against black and brown men
You do realize you just admitted to this being an assumption on your part, right? This is YOUR racism projecting onto this whole thing.
The fear of sexual assault that women share is not limited by skin color. They're not feeling at ease walking to their cars in a parking garage just because the man they see is white.
Seriously, do you even talk to women?
You're missing the broader implications of the meme. It's not just about women feeling unsafe around men — that’s a real and valid experience — but this particular meme has been co-opted and amplified in ways that serve deeper political agendas.
It does racialize the threat, whether consciously or not. The ambiguity of “a man in the woods” leaves people to fill in the blanks with their own biases, and statistically, media and social conditioning prime many to imagine a Black or brown man — not a white suburban dad. That’s why this meme feeds into racist and xenophobic narratives, even if unintentionally.
Worse, it also primes men — especially men of color — to feel alienated and demonized. It reinforces the message that they are inherently threatening or unwelcome in public spaces. This isn’t just a feminist meme gone viral — it’s political fodder. Right-wing actors boosted this kind of content ahead of the 2024 elections to create division: stoking male resentment, amplifying racial tensions, and undermining solidarity between groups that might otherwise resist conservative agendas.
So yes, the fear of violence is real. But the weaponization of that fear — through memes like this — deserves serious scrutiny. Just because something resonates emotionally doesn’t mean it’s not being used strategically.
That's like 10 whole new levels of not getting it
The goal was to increase fear of the "other" - which is a classic right wing tactic.
The bear meme was a conservative astroturfed campaign to push people right - which is why it appeared shortly before the 2024 US elections