Mildly Interesting

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Found some “lessons learned” tucked away in a used book I bought. (i.redd.it)

submitted 18 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

31 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/5401622

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/mildlyinteresting by /u/miyog on 2025-03-14 16:02:13+00:00.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

90 days, wow!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah, at no point in my dating life did I ever continue seeking relations past week three. If we’re not fucking by week three, we’re just not fucking.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Yall weird as hell. Ever heard of taking it slow?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Nope. Never wanted to waste my time to find out someone was terrible at intimacy. Wife and I slept with each other on our third date, and all these years later still can’t keep our hands off each other.

You do you, but that puritanical shit was always a red flag for me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Also I never understood "take it slow". What's slow? 90 days? A year? 2 years? A decade?

Then there's the "you should be single for a bit". Okay I've been single for 5 months, but then "no I've been single for two years". You mean I'm not supposed to have intimacy for some arbitrary amount of time? I'm supposed to ignore any advance by anyone no matter how great they may be? I've missed so many good eggs that way.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I’ve always been of the understanding that people who do the whole “no sex until “x” event or time span” thing seem to consider sex to be a transactional performance, as opposed to raw form of human connection. They expect commitment to come before that connection, and use their withholding as a form of manipulation. To which my reply was always “Next”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 38 minutes ago

100%

It also sets weird and potentially false expectations around sex as an event, which puts undue pressure on both parties, rather than something that simply happens as a natural course of a relationship evolving.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 hour ago

that puritanical shit lmao who said anything about this being religious? I don't follow anything.

It's called "being queer & careful with your partner; getting STI tests, getting to know each other, adjusting to each other's rhythm"

sheesh...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

It doesn't say no fucking, just don't spend the whole night.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Ah, the Sexless Innkeeper

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

For me, that is even weirder to be honest.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

If they can’t stand you in the morning, it wasn’t real anyway. It was all about the cookie.