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Is it wrong to put your career first and push getting into a relationship further later? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I don't get it. Everywhere I look there is this discussion about getting into a relationship, getting gfs/bfs and constantly chasing after it. And I'm not doing anything of it. I never paid attention to such stuff. During my teenage years, I thought it was normal attraction which people cave into and pursued such things. But now in my 20s, the same thing I observe, if not a little bit more than I used it. People getting sad because they are not finding someone. People being happy because they have one for themselves.

I'm not that career focused either. I just mind my own business. If it's studying or working, I just mind that. I do nothing like checking out girls in my school/workplace like my peers do. Maybe I'm just scared to pursue such things. I also think having a relationship is a huge headache too. Meeting them, making them happy, going out with them regularly. (I don't go out myself where will I take her to?). All of this while doing your daily stuff.

Am I wrong thinking to put career first before I get into relationships and stuff?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Maybe you are wrong. Unfortunately there is no way to know until after the fact. IF you find a great relationship that lasts that is a great thing. However that is a big if, many many people do, but many others think they have and then separate after some time to great heartache.

Career is something you do to live. If you love your job that can be a bad sign - you may accept abuse just to stay doing it. Even if the job doesn't abuse you, you will have days when you are sick of it (not might, you will!). There will be parts of your job that have to be done but you don't want to do them.

In short I think putting career first is wrong. However it may well be that you don't have a better option. Be open to a better option if you come across it, but searching for a worthwhile relationship is often not worth the cost. You have to open yourself up enough to get hurt before you can find out of it is a good relationship or not.

Remember you will die. In the meantime you need to eat, you need shelter. Most people find love is high on the things they want next. Also remember that the right answer for your will change over time.