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What are your experiences with polyamory, first or second hand? (feddit.nl)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I've been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It's a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We're all genuinely happy and satisfied. I'm kind of casually looking for a boyfriend of my own.

But I feel like I only hear negative stories about other poly experiences. It's always unstable people and situations. It's always two out of three people happy at most. Surely there are other success stories out there, and I just hear the disasters because they're more memorable and fun to tell. Does anyone else have or know a polyamory success story?

EDIT: This blew up a little while I was asleep. I promise I'm at least reading every comment.

EDIT 2.0: ngl I did not expect the trope of polyamory to fix a struggling relationship would be so real. We did just the opposite and are both baffled. Don't use volitility to fight the volitility.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My wife and I are poly. Neither of us have found a long term person yet (Wife isn't really looking because she is graysexual and doesn't really want any additional deep emotional connections), but we've met a few great people who probably could have worked but for one or two incompatibilities. I've seen enough over the past two years to see that it definitely can work.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wife isn't really looking because she is graysexual and doesn't really want any additional deep emotional connections

This kinda describes my wife's boyfriend's wife. (That was just fun to type out) Basically, because of the place and way she was raised, she didn't understand that she was ace until she had two kids, and her sex life continued to exist. She was/is more or less done with that part of her life. She has two kids and a husband and a home, and that's why she was having sex to begin with. As long as she has those things, she doesn't care that her husband does things she does not enjoy with some other women. She's happy with the way her life is. Plz don't make her add sex back into the equation.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Poly was actually my wife's idea for many of the reasons you list above. It's not just sex though, my wife is also not a touchy feely person, and I am, as she calls me, a cuddle monster. Thankfully we are good at communicating and deeply love each other, and so were able to navigate all of this without arguing, yelling, etc...