this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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Half of the time I look forward to my death, it doesn't scare me since I don't see the real point of my life, what scares me is if my agony would be slow and painful.

But then what? I just stop existing and it's like I fell asleep? Do I see light? Darkness? Nothing? What is nothing?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

If my partner is still alive, then she would be very sad. Likewise my older siblings. God, I hope my parents aren't alive to see it - that would suck for them. My best bud would also be pretty torn up (we've lived within a few blocks of each other for most of the last three decades, and get together at least once a week). There's also an old ex who if they're still around, I can count on a great eulogy from them. Makes me wish I could stick around just to see that.

Unless it's a particularly horrible death, I don't think anyone would be dangerously sad. I'm insured to the hilt, so there should be enough to go around to cover expenses, including my partner's current level of comfort.

From my perspective, it's likely to be a big nothing (I would be very surprised otherwise). But I've never really put much stock in individual consciousness: sure I may be stuck to this one perspective because of how brains work, so it's the only consciousness I can truly know, but it's not the only one. The others (like other other people) will keep going after this one ends. The biggest changes are going to be in the social and legal dimensions of my former life.