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My dad contacted me out of nowhere (startrek.website)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm a bit lost here, to be fair. I went full no contact with my family back when I was 16. Took a hike, even across countries. So, apparently what happened, was my ex brother in law not keeping his mouth shut and sharing my number with my family. I still can't make heads or tails of it. But now my dad wants to be real chummy and friendy with me? Fuck that, honestly. I'm not super mad at him, more at the rest of my family, but it seriously hurts right now. What am I supposed to do? I'm at a loss here. Haven't really talked to the person for over 21 years.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

That’s 100% dependent on why you went no contact in the first place. It doesn’t sound like you owe him anything, so your only question is how it relates to your own feelings.

If your ex brother in law has both your and his contact info, it sounds like he could’ve reached out indirectly at any point.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

To add a bit for OP. This is 100% context dependent, I agree. My partner did this with her family and it was the correct choice imo. I have never met such a group of toxic individuals before—holy cow. To the point I felt like I was incredibly sheltered. She has some insane stories, somehow always worse than the last.

I get turning the other cheek, and looking at things from other’s perspective, but sometimes that just won’t do it. People can be truly awful and you have to take care of yourself when others don’t have the wherewithal (EQ) to understand the damage they do.