this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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Don't buy a ring for engagement unless you know for sure that they a) want an engagement ring, and b) are 100% gonna say yes.
Marriage shouldn't be a surprise.
Me and my my girlfriend are of the mind where (once our relationship is that far) there’s gonna be a long talk about marriage, like if we’re ready, what changes are being made once that happens, a lot of discussion. We also agree once that discussion has been settled there can still be the romantic gesture of popping the question
I just never understood how people are able to go
“I’m putting you on the spot would you make a life changing decision that will alter both our lives or will you break my heart, go ahead infront of all these people”
Marriage isn't a surprise but the engagement can be.
Neither the question nor the answer should ever be a surprise.
The time, and location of proposal are the surprise.
When I asked my now wife, I knew for sure she was going to say yes, and I knew she would want a simple ring with her birth stone instead of a diamond.
She had no idea I was going to ask her in the manner I did while we were out camping. that was the surprise for her. Not the question itself.
The engagement can be a surprise didn’t read any differently to me than what you laid out. The only surprise for my wife was that I got her dad’s blessing since that was important to her and when/how I went about it. Was in our home, I’m not someone that feels anyone else needs to be involved. To me our engagement was still a surprise but she had already participated in ring shopping with me and we had obviously discussed thoroughly before hand.
Nope. If the question was a surprise then your communication skills as a couple aren't there yet.
The timing can be a surprise, but if you don't know the answer, don't ask the question.
The moment it becomes official is the surprise, ths actual context of it cannot ever be one.
Engagement is the initiation of marriage, they are the same. So your sentence doesn't make sense