this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
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not just a victory for ukraine, but a victory for humanity.
fuck these ransomers to death, in hell, for eternity, with lord Lucifer Satan Morningstar's biggest hottest rustiest re-bar strap-on and razorwire for "lube" (because not even the literal devil would want to stick organic junk in orifices as nasty as theirs).
I wish them the eternal feeling that they need to poop really badly that goes away with a tiny fart when they sit on the toilet. When they do finally poop, I hope it's uncomfortably girthy and sharp to the point of being paralyzing and it only happens when the nurse calls them back into the doctor's office for their appointment to address this exact issue. Then, I hope every car they get into to go home and clean themselves off has a dodgy throttle and only blasts hot, humid air.
You've farted quite a portrait, I must say
A fartiste, you might say
Douché 🫑
Hey, uh, I speak a little French. You're an assbite; pardon my French.
Love ya, cya tomorrow :)
So, celiac disease.
Then when they finally get all cleaned up and start feeling more comfortable Lucifer shows up again with his rusty rebar dildo
I kinda wish they would do a joint-Dateline type treatment but also investigate what kind of people and circumstances outside of all this that lead to such nonsense-factories....
Edit: sorta like HBOs the telemarketers, that kinda deal