this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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This is exactly the relationship my wife and I share. We're each other's best friends, so it's easy to hang out every day. Which is important because we're both not working, so we're around each other 24/7.
So many couples struggled throughout the pandemic because they were actually forced to spend a lot of time together and realized they just didn't care for each others' company as much as they thought. But it had no effect on my relationship with my wife because we already spent almost every moment of our free time together.
And it's not like we do absolutely everything together. There are plenty of days when we're indulging in our own separate hobbies or interests. But we're always close by, so we can chat or share our geeky hobbies with one another.
If you marry someone for looks, status, money, etc., you may find yourself in more of a business relationship than a romantic one, which will struggle as you get older. But finding someone who completely gets you is refreshing. You don't need to put on a mask around them; you can be yourself and be confident that they love you for YOU. And if you truly respect them, you'll also love and appreciate them for being themselves too.
As a counter example my wife and I have separate rooms and some hobbies that we don't share...and it's amazing. She's still my best friend, we still hang out every day, we still do the dirty, we're still very much in love...we just realized that we both love some degree of personal space, personal time when necessary, and sleep 10x better in separate rooms. I think we still fit the idea of "best friends doing life together" despite not wanting that 24/7 always together lifestyle.
I can get behind that. My wife and I share a bed, but she's talked about having her own separate bed. She's an extremely light sleeper and even shifting a little bit in bed wakes her up. Suffice to say, she almost never gets good sleep and ends up napping half of the day after I've gotten up. She still prefers to fall asleep cuddled up to me, though, which is why we haven't gotten her a separate bed yet.
We also have plenty of separate hobbies that the other doesn't care for. I collect comic books that my wife isn't interested in, and she loves true crime shows, which get very boring and repetitive for me. But we each indulge in our separate hobbies in nearby rooms, so we can excitedly share details with the other.
She loves telling me all about the horrifying ways someone was murdered on one of her shows, and whereas I don't care for the show myself, I enjoy how excited she is about sharing all the gory details. I love her passion for her interests. 🥰
This is me and my husband. I find the part about going through the pandemic together especially true. “After” the pandemic I never went back to the office and the number of coworkers I had who seemed to be flabbergasted that I wanted to stay at home was through the roof. They seemed genuinely confused that husband and I weren't dying to get away from each other.
I have to admit though, it may have become somewhat of a hostile work environment as my husband has been threatening to tell my boss about all the times I make fish for lunch.