this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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It's your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I'm sure as shit not getting raptured.
Great Scott! I was so busy packing, I forgot about the dog! Quick! What are your rates! Nevermind - here's my bank info - I won't need money anymore!!
No worries, friend - doggos to the left, wallets to the right - peace be with you and whatnot!
Oh, shit, I'm still here... Can I have my wallet and dog back please?!?
I'm not going to steal your dog, but refunds are unavailable in the event that the rapture or your participation in it is cancelled - sorry.
I'm guessing you haven't had many customers yet?
Also, you think you're not getting raptured but you are literally offering a good thing for people that won't even pay you. Pretty sure Jesus would think you were dope.
I'm only a new startup, so I'm looking to take on my first clients.
I figure things will work out - people that believe in the rapture tend not to pay attention to all the "love thy neighbour", golden rule, feed the hungry, bathe the lepers Jesus teachings...
If he follows through he'll be in on round 2 of the rapture I guess