this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

My wife is nearly annoy proof. If I texted that, she would get all warm and fuzzy.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds like your wife is keeping the Live, Laugh, Love pillow manufacturers in business.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

“Why fit in when you’re born to stand out?”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

Hot dogs. Armor hot dogs!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Have you tried removing the toilet seat 1 hour after your wife goes to bed, so that when she gets up to pee at 2am and doesn't turn on the light, she falls in?

Then you burst in, snap a pic, and upload it to your instagram with the caption "I keep the bitches pussy wet!"

Maybe THAT will annoy her?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Thats not annoying, its just mean and disrespectful.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't think they were being serious

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't think they were suggesting anyone actually do that, but it does seem like they don't fully understand what it means to be playfully annoying to your spouse.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

What? You don't love cutting their hair while they're sleeping?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Well we cant have that, of course. You need to try some new tactics.