this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
1228 points (98.9% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

5660 readers
365 users here now

Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.

Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.


Other Communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 234 points 2 months ago (5 children)

If marriage isn't annoying your spouse with your nonsense on a daily basis then I dont know what marriage is.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 months ago (3 children)

My wife is nearly annoy proof. If I texted that, she would get all warm and fuzzy.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like your wife is keeping the Live, Laugh, Love pillow manufacturers in business.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

“Why fit in when you’re born to stand out?”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Hot dogs. Armor hot dogs!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you tried removing the toilet seat 1 hour after your wife goes to bed, so that when she gets up to pee at 2am and doesn't turn on the light, she falls in?

Then you burst in, snap a pic, and upload it to your instagram with the caption "I keep the bitches pussy wet!"

Maybe THAT will annoy her?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well we cant have that, of course. You need to try some new tactics.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Texting my spouse in another country with random nonsense, even though with our data plan, it's $0.10 a text.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can't you use something like Telegram/Signal/WhatsApp and avoid the charges?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Signal. Whatsapp maybe. But Telegram isn't even encrypted e2e. Never Telegram.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Wait.. whaat ?? There are actual people who knowingly prefer WhatsApp to telegram ? I truly prefer telegram to WhatsApp, and am very surprised about this. To me WhatsApp = Facebook and I cannot fathom to use it if I can avoid it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

To be clear they're both shit from a privacy perspective.

Telegram has effectively no security by default. WhatsApp has better security on paper with meaningful end to end encryption. But Facebook still get your meta data and they scan images in the chat to check for illegal data.

That said I basically agree with you for insecure conversations. Telegram might have access to more of my data in a chat but they don't connect it up with all of the data Facebook has tracking me across the internet.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Pssst hey kids ... nextcloud.com. You wanna score some privacy?

Warning it may lead to Linux and other Foss addictions.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

I literally promised an eye-roll per day in my vows. Can't stop, won't stop.

(Holiday inn)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I should have married you instead of my wife. She’s just not that into it…

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago