this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Every once in a while I get a Uline catalog sent to me.I have looked at that same sort of industrial Jumbo roll. Very tempting.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 months ago (5 children)

If it's the uline jumbo rolls my work gets... Please don't.

Your asshole will thank me

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (6 children)

You just gotta keep using it until your anus naturally builds up callouses.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

I rarely physically shudder from text

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I too try to only shit on company time

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

They're called union shits around here. Even if you're not in one lol.

Also combine shitty to with expensive bidet. Best of both worlds.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My wife keeps telling me that...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why? What is she planning for your anus that requires callouses? You should inquire. That sounds suspicious!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just know that she won't answer and I'm scared.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Do you need us to call someone for you?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Sounds exciting!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

If you don't use a bidet, your butthole is already calloused. I learned this the first time I pooped in a normal toilet after getting my bidet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I think this is the worst thing I've ever read

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Thank you, and you're welcome.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

What a terrible day to have eyes.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Is it the high gloss stuff, or the 80 grit option?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Does it flake like a French pastry?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I only wipe my ass with croissants to keep my cheeks buttery smooth

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm fairly certain those words have never been uttered in that order in the entirety of human history. Bravo.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

It's a terrible day for Canada, and therefore the world

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

The toilet paper or his asscheeks?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

My old work ordered everything from uline, and I started bringing in my own TP specifically because of how awful it is to use that tissue paper.

Legitimately feels like tissue paper that people stuff gift bags with.

But at the same time, almost slippery.

And you WILL know if you creased the paper the wrong way, because it WILL stab at you with the force of ten thousand teeny tiny needles.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Plus side, it's basically impossible to clog your toilet with that stuff. It's effectively pipe grease.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Try a bidet first. I still use TP to dry off the wet, but way less TP.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

How much TP did you use to use? I'm usually in the 2-4 squares range, which is usually enough to get a clean wipe. I imagine I'd still be in that range w/ a bidet, I'd just be a bit cleaner. My trick is to buy non-crappy TP, so I don't need to double up (Costco brand is the perfect mix of strong and cheap).