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I have always been "non-traditional" looking. When I was young and skinny I don't think I was ugly but certainly not conventionally beautiful. Now that I'm older I am certifiably "meh".
The expectation to look pretty (for men) is still there even if I don't meet the criteria for their attention. I still feel the societal pressure, I still feel bad about my appearance when I'm not serving male gaze ideals. It doesn't just go away even when you're disqualified from personhood for being ugly.
I'm hoping becoming an old biddy will release me from requirements and I can feel free.
Interesting that you still internalize the pressure. Maybe that's a result of how much women are guided to be objects of sexual interest from youth?
As a guy, I can dress as poorly as I want and not feel less manly because of it. I will still feel stigma about class and stuff, though.
I've definitely heard that being old is liberating! I hope I get there someday.
Well shit I didn't realize this could be so sticky. I wish you feel free asap