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Alternative to bad parental advice: "Stand up to bullies"? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years.

These days though, using this advice only seems to backfire. When I give them what they've given me, the bullies just get more angry and use that to justify their continued bullying. They see themselves as the victim.

Any suggestions that would be more helpful?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

This is a weird one. Agree with them and basically be really pathetic. It really messes with people like this and narcissists.

The moment you fight back, or try to establish boundaries with people like this, they perceive you as challenging them. Since these people are ultimately insecure they will put you down really hard, to feel secure about themselves.

HealthygamerGG has a video on establishing boundaries and how it rarely works, and he discusses how you should approach it instead.

https://youtu.be/gqwjBEf3znc?si=Yi28OpyiBzS5zbQA