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Alternative to bad parental advice: "Stand up to bullies"? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

44 comments fedilink hide all child comments

When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years.

These days though, using this advice only seems to backfire. When I give them what they've given me, the bullies just get more angry and use that to justify their continued bullying. They see themselves as the victim.

Any suggestions that would be more helpful?

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

What are they doing to stand up to the bullies? They only understand definitive language or actions. If your child is just saying "no, you can't do that," nothing will happen. In the past, "standing up to a bully" generally meant breaking their nose.

EDIT: oh, this is about you as an adult, not your children. Good luck, adult bullies have that behavior ingrained in them from decades of training. Avoid them or get them in legal/job trouble, those are your only realistic options.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Exactly, the adult world has the same authorities you can get them in trouble with. Just call the police, their employer, spouse or mother and tell them how shameful their behavior is.

I love those speeding aggressive work trucks that have the employers phone number right on them.

"I'm sorry to bother you: so who of you employees is currently usingg that van? You might wanna have a talk withe them."