this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2024
64 points (85.6% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26858 readers
2121 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I can understand the desire to get as many downvotes as possible on reddit. I don't sympathize, but I can at least see where people are coming from. Because Reddit gives you that total and shows it to you.

And I'm sure it's possible to use an API to really that number up on Lemmy, but "total karma" doesn't seem to be something Lemmy cares about by default, so where is the motivation coming from?

Is it just the same reason people have always been trolls? Because I've never quite understood that, either

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

My conclusion is that many of those who act in a bullying or antisocial manner are negative attention seeking.

Everyone needs attention. It's a human trait to seek attention. More or less attention depending upon the individual, but the need is always there.

Ideally, people learn how to garner attention through positive routes. These can include friendships, helping others, awards, competition, sports, or music/theater performance. As children and growing up, we learn strategies to get attention. This is hopefully guided by our parents, authority figures, friends, and society to teach you ways to get attention in a positive and socially acceptable manner, with the best forms helping other people in the process.

Unfortunately, not everyone either gets that formative training or just never understands. I thinks it's more the former than the latter (instead discussion of sociopaths and psychopathy here). Many of the kids that I've been around who have bulling mentalities responded very well to an authority figure first standing them down, then working on attention positive strategies. They often just didn't have the tools to integrate in a group without bullying to be seen. I'm not a trained social/psychologist professional, but I've worked with a lot of kids over the years, and this approach has worked the vast majority of the time.

Adults who never figured out how to get positive attention seek negative attention. That loud muffler? It's about demanding attention. The yelling in a restaurant? Attention. They are frustrated at the world sometimes because people don't give them attention and one of their only tools in their toolbox to get attention is to be annoying because negative reactions are still reactions.

I pity those people. That's a sad life. It makes for bad transactional style friendships, hateful marriages, and leaves them ill equipped to raise children that will have positive tools in their own lives. If their children do figure out how to be positive in communities, that should also help them to see how their parents are toxic, so it's a no win for the parent in that scenario.

There's, of course, always exceptions such has narcissistic traits, sociopaths, and other mental illnesses, but for most people looking at their behaviors through a lens of attention seeking frameworks fits well enough. Trolls online are to be pitied because they're sad and want attention, but don't know how to get it without bullying and trolling in life.